Ask a Gay Guy!

Sapphire Gypsy wrote:yeah well I'm not making cookies for you... just Doug.

Sigh, I can never seem to get a girl to let me eat her cookie....

Q: Do you find extremely effeminate/flamboyant gay guys obnoxious or offensive in comparison to your behavior or lifestyle?

Denim wrote:

Sapphire Gypsy wrote:yeah well I'm not making cookies for you... just Doug.

Sigh, I can never seem to get a girl to let me eat her cookie....

*spit take*

BlueMaxx wrote:And question 3: With your gay friends/family/acquaintances, do you find them to be more mature or mature faster than straight friends/family/acquaintances? At least socially. (Q4) Do you think it's due to conditionings of empathy towards others caused by their own disparagements from society?

Frankly? I don't notice that the gays I know and have met are any more mature than any of the straight people that I know. In fact, many of them (myself included) seem to have been rather slow in maturing, and here's my theory why:

Gays who are closeted but not dating members of the opposite sex as a cover miss out on several key moments of maturation. A fair number of us weren't popular, due to our own self-conflict hampering our social skills -- my experience is that gays who were 'popular' tend to be more mature than those who suffer in solitude. I started 'catching up' to my age in senior year, and probably haven't gotten there yet. You also have to remember that many times, our only 'romantic relationships' in high school are sweaty encounters with confused straight boys who aren't going to acknowledge anything has happened. We miss out on dating, having a romantic partner, and other key moments (Prom, anyone?) that I feel are essential to what I call a 'mature outlook'.

That's not to say that gay and lesbians aren't mature; we just tend to have come into it late. There are exceptions, of course, but I would say that my statement probably holds true for at least 75% of gays in the world.

If you've ever seen a bunch of vicious queens together, you'd see how very high school a lot of them still are.

As for empathy, I have found most gays and lesbians to be highly empathetic and wonderful people. However, these are people who are my age or older. While I assume that there are large swaths of empathy through the younger generations of my community, I feel that empathy is one of those things that come with time and experience -- good or bad. Being sympathetic is not the same thing as being empathetic, and I think a lot of people who consider themselves empathetic are, in actuality, only strongly sympathetic.

God, I hope that made sense. I'm working from home today, and partook a bit earlier than I probably should have. Stoned gay guys should not try to get philosophical.

Heytherejeffro wrote:Q: Do you find extremely effeminate/flamboyant gay guys obnoxious or offensive in comparison to your behavior or lifestyle?

I don't find them offensive, so long as it's not so obviously an affectation. I find the affectors frequently obnoxious, and am bothered that they're often the face put on being gay in America. There are as many diverse flavors of gay man as there are of straight men, and for the media or the religious right to focus on one aspect of our varied and beautiful community is just as bad as if they focused only on African-Americans who are crimina...oh, wait.

I appreciate and respect every member of my community, whether I agree with the way they comport themselves or not.

superdoug wrote:

That was a fantastic answer. Enlightening. I would've assumed the opposite. I know you weren't making a sweeping statement, but gay friends and acquantances I've had seem less immature than most (or maybe I'm immature and it seems that way. ) . With the exception of humor. I think anyone with a good sense of humor has an immature one. Heh.

superdoug wrote:Stoned gay guys should not try to get philosophical.

You can never get to philosophical when the mood is right.

I know a few gay dudes, and some of them are just those "Every guy is secretly gay, I'm going to talk like a fashionista/sailor hybrid (re: "Here I am; still gay, still love s*cking c*ck")", and I just assumed that the more level-headed gay guys would see them the same way most of us heteros look at the overly-hetero-super-bro's (apostrophe used for pronunciation purposes) as being douche-nozzles.

Only gay dude I know in the physical world does not know he is gay, yet it is obvious to everyone else. It is quite the funny situation. I think there will be a apocolypse when he finally comes out.

I don't really have anything to add to this thread, I am just bored and feeling rambly.

Heytherejeffro wrote:... and I just assumed that the more level-headed gay guys would see them the same way most of us heteros look at the overly-hetero-super-bro's (apostrophe used for pronunciation purposes) as being douche-nozzles.

...or just closet gays.
http://www.livevideo.com/flvplayer/embed/91486BB8D34940F09543411EE1BF18D7

uh... you're not ALL muscle. I mean there's some bones and gook and black stuff in there too. Or so my edumacation in medicination tells me.

Also I bet he has chicken legs.

supervenom wrote:favorite horror movie?

I missed this in all the fracas. My favorite horror movie is probably Shaun of the Dead. I know it's really more comedy than horror, but it's one of the few zombie movies that holds it together for the full run of the film. 28 Days Later is also a favorite of mine; insanely rabid people are far more frightening than zombies.

Huh. Maybe I'm just biased towards British flicks.


Also making the rotation:

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Friday the 13th (the original)
Halloween (the original)
Tremors (full of young Kevin Bacon-y goodness)


Also, as far as gay movies go (which aren't, as a rule, particularly great movies), the movie Hellbent is not a terrible slasher flick. The twist at the end is pretty well telegraphed about twenty minutes before it happens, but the jumps and scares are pretty genuine. I recommend giving it a view; as far as I recall, there's nothing there to make you claw your eyes out.

Oh! And Poltergeist! I can't forget Poltergeist!

And Jaws!

And Psycho!

And Let the Right One In!

Actually, I love a lot of fucking horror movies. Hopefully, if the HorrorCast ever happens, I can be a contributer, and you can hear how much I love them.

Notable exception to that: I'm not a fan of torture porn like Hostel (which I saw the first and half of the second) and the Saw franchise (which I abandoned after...I think it was 3...), which sort of includes the Hellraiser movies, which I only saw the first one.

What's it gonna take to get you to go shopping with me? I hate that gay men can make me look better than I could possibly ever make myself. I just went to a hair salon a couple of weeks ago and for once I'm not pissed off with how my hair looks. He even showed me some quick, cute ways to style my hair. I've always had a girl do my hair and just never got that kind of attention. *sigh* Take me shopping.

Ska wrote:What's it gonna take to get you to go shopping with me? I hate that gay men can make me look better than I could possibly ever make myself. I just went to a hair salon a couple of weeks ago and for once I'm not pissed off with how my hair looks. He even showed me some quick, cute ways to style my hair. I've always had a girl do my hair and just never got that kind of attention. *sigh* Take me shopping.

I promise that if we are ever in the same city, I will go shopping with you. However, I am one of those gay guys who lacks the fabulous gene, but will be honest with you.

You mean you're not the cute little goth girl I portrayed in Fangirls?

Ska wrote:I just went to a hair salon a couple of weeks ago and for once I'm not pissed off with how my hair looks. He even showed me some quick, cute ways to style my hair.

My hair is probably 30% genetics and 70% gay stylist.

Joshua wrote:

Ska wrote:I just went to a hair salon a couple of weeks ago and for once I'm not pissed off with how my hair looks. He even showed me some quick, cute ways to style my hair.

My hair is probably 30% genetics and 70% gay stylist.

Oddly enough, a suit I'm working on has the same ingredients.

Hey Doug, GLAAD's having their annual awards and here are the comic books they're nominated:
http://www.bleedingcool.com/2011/01/20/glaad-comics-award-nominations-released-prejudiced-against-artists/

Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Scott Allie, Brad Meltzer, Joss Whedon (Dark Horse Comics)
Fogtown by Andersen Gabrych (Vertigo/DC Comics)
Veronica by Dan Parent (Archie Comics)
X-Factor by Peter David (Marvel Comics)
Young Avengers: Children’s Crusade by Allan Heinberg (Marvel)


Have you read any of those? And which would be your pick?

Bigtymin504 wrote:Hey Doug, GLAAD's having their annual awards and here are the comic books they're nominated:
http://www.bleedingcool.com/2011/01/20/glaad-comics-award-nominations-released-prejudiced-against-artists/

Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Scott Allie, Brad Meltzer, Joss Whedon (Dark Horse Comics)
Fogtown by Andersen Gabrych (Vertigo/DC Comics)
Veronica by Dan Parent (Archie Comics)
X-Factor by Peter David (Marvel Comics)
Young Avengers: Children’s Crusade by Allan Heinberg (Marvel)


Have you read any of those? And which would be your pick?

The only comic on that list that I haven't read is Fogtown, and that's only because I don't know anything about it. I'll have to check it out.

As to what would be MY pick for the year? While all of the comics do a great job of dealing with gay characters, I would have to go with Veronica #202 by Dan Parent. The introduction of a gay character in the soda-pop world of the Archie universe could have been a huge bomb that sank the company. Instead, Archie showed its true morality in introducing us to openly gay Kevin Keller in a way that neither glorified nor condemned his sexuality. Like life, it was what it was, and the only person who got hurt in the fray was Veronica, and even she was a good sport about finding out. Archie showed us once again that being gay is and can be as normal and as wholesome as any other lifestyle, and for that they should win the award.

Cool, good to have your insight.