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Ask a Straight Guy

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26 Re: Ask a Straight Guy on Tue Aug 25, 2009 11:05 pm

BlueMaxx

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Zombie Ninja
Zombie Ninja
Mnemosis...where do vaginas and penises come from?

[insert joke] Pun intended.

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27 Re: Ask a Straight Guy on Wed Aug 26, 2009 11:27 am

FroZen

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Zombie Ninja
Zombie Ninja
Ok...totally hypothetical here...but say you're banging your girlfriend from behind. And you insist she doesn't turn around...and you make her moan in a deep voice...and you keep calling her...oh I don't know...lets say "Jason".
Does that make your girlfriend gay?
just hypothetically speaking of course.

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28 Re: Ask a Straight Guy on Wed Aug 26, 2009 12:47 pm

Mnemosis

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The Robert Frost of Poop
FroZen wrote:Ok...totally hypothetical here...but say you're banging your girlfriend from behind. And you insist she doesn't turn around...and you make her moan in a deep voice...and you keep calling her...oh I don't know...lets say "Jason".
Does that make your girlfriend gay?
just hypothetically speaking of course.

No, but it's a good sign your gerbil may be trans.


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29 Re: Ask a Straight Guy on Wed Aug 26, 2009 1:38 pm

Esbat

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Zombie Ninja
Zombie Ninja
Dear "Big Sur,

Love you long time reader, first time caller. Is a dirty sanchez what I think it is?

Signed,

Confused in Coitus

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30 Re: Ask a Straight Guy on Wed Aug 26, 2009 1:40 pm

Mnemosis

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The Robert Frost of Poop
Esbat wrote:Dear "Big Sur,

Love you long time reader, first time caller. Is a dirty sanchez what I think it is?

Signed,

Confused in Coitus

Yes. Tell your cousin to bathe more often.


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31 Talkin' Love With Thundermatts! on Fri Aug 28, 2009 1:46 pm

Thundermatts

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Zombie Ninja
Zombie Ninja
So a couple other guys have ask threads on here, but this one is for all things love related! Relationships, sex you name it, I'll help you with it. Honestly, ask away, I think you'll be surprised that I might just end up helping you nab that lady of your dreams. I kind of rock at relationship advice. People who actually know me ask me all the time. I'm sort of a super sexy love doctor. But I give it straight, so if you're a creepy stalker, I'll let you know.

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32 Re: Ask a Straight Guy on Fri Aug 28, 2009 1:51 pm

shining knight

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Zombie Ninja
Zombie Ninja
I have some trouble talking to this girl I work with I have tried to actually ask her out on a date and I end up pussying out at the last minute

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33 Re: Ask a Straight Guy on Fri Aug 28, 2009 1:56 pm

Thundermatts

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Zombie Ninja
Zombie Ninja
well, stop it. The key to talking to any girl is confidence. They can smell a loser coming a mile away because he thinks he's a loser. Now you have to walk a fine line. Don't be overconfident, while some chicks go for that kind of guy, they all find themselves posted on the internet in one of gemwolfs (airwolf?) pictures, and you don't want a girl like that anyways. But just know that you're interesting, and you have something to offer in a discussion, on a date or in a relationship, cause you do!

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34 Re: Ask a Straight Guy on Fri Aug 28, 2009 1:59 pm

shining knight

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Zombie Ninja
Zombie Ninja
thank you

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35 Re: Ask a Straight Guy on Fri Aug 28, 2009 2:00 pm

Thundermatts

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Zombie Ninja
Zombie Ninja
Your welcome. let me know how it goes!

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36 Re: Ask a Straight Guy on Fri Aug 28, 2009 2:41 pm

Mnemosis

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The Robert Frost of Poop
Yes, Dr. Love? I was wondering just how it is you ever got laid.


tongue Smiley immunity!


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37 Re: Ask a Straight Guy on Fri Aug 28, 2009 2:43 pm

Thundermatts

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Zombie Ninja
Zombie Ninja
Confidence!

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38 Re: Ask a Straight Guy on Fri Aug 28, 2009 2:44 pm

shining knight

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Zombie Ninja
Zombie Ninja
something I need a shitload of

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39 Re: Ask a Straight Guy on Fri Aug 28, 2009 2:45 pm

Toothgrinder

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Cannon Fodder
Cannon Fodder
$ is just as good.

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40 Re: Ask a Straight Guy on Fri Aug 28, 2009 3:08 pm

Silent K

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Administrator
Administrator
What's the best way to get your dick wet without all that "getting to know you" bullshit?


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41 Re: Ask a Straight Guy on Fri Aug 28, 2009 3:10 pm

Thundermatts

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Zombie Ninja
Zombie Ninja
Rape.

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42 Re: Ask a Straight Guy on Fri Aug 28, 2009 3:12 pm

Thundermatts

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Zombie Ninja
Zombie Ninja
Just kidding! Seriously though, you already know a girl who will fuck you no strings attached. You just don't know it yet. Co workers is always good, as are friends who aren't like in the friend friend circle. I'm sure there's one girl at least that you flirt with all the time, and who flirts back. In my experiences, that usually means she's willing to blow you at the least. Know anyone like that? Theres your answer. If not, I know it's lame, but hit up bars.

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43 Re: Ask a Straight Guy on Fri Aug 28, 2009 3:21 pm

Silent K

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Administrator
Administrator
Thundermatts wrote:Just kidding! Seriously though, you already know a girl who will fuck you no strings attached. You just don't know it yet. Co workers is always good, as are friends who aren't like in the friend friend circle. I'm sure there's one girl at least that you flirt with all the time, and who flirts back. In my experiences, that usually means she's willing to blow you at the least. Know anyone like that? Theres your answer. If not, I know it's lame, but hit up bars.

Most of the ladies I know are taken or out of range. As for co-workers, that's a dead end, unless I want to fuck my Mom or Kerouac. The roommate brings home friends from work all the time, and those are usually the best possibilities, and I was kinda making time with one, recently, but not sure if she's feeling it. We talked for a good long time, and I was on my A game, but alas, it ended with what doctors would refer to as "dryness of the dick".

At this point in my life, I'm just really fucking lazy in regards to women. I don't really have the time or energy to put into a girlfriend, and I'm not gonna go out of my way to find some chick to bang, either. But if they happen to show up on my doorstep, I'm all for it. If I don't get my rocks off for another few years until I have a legit relationship...then so be it...I went 24 years without it, prior. I'd just like some lovely young lady to treat me like a piece of meat for a night, and vice versa.


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44 Re: Ask a Straight Guy on Fri Aug 28, 2009 3:22 pm

Thundermatts

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Zombie Ninja
Zombie Ninja
So go to the bar. It's not work, you get to drink.

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45 Re: Ask a Straight Guy on Fri Aug 28, 2009 3:23 pm

Mnemosis

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The Robert Frost of Poop
Silent K wrote:
At this point in my life, I'm just really fucking lazy in regards to women. I don't really have the time or energy to put into a girlfriend, and I'm not gonna go out of my way to find some chick to bang, either. But if they happen to show up on my doorstep, I'm all for it. If I don't get my rocks off for another few years until I have a legit relationship...then so be it...I went 24 years without it, prior. I'd just like some lovely young lady to treat me like a piece of meat for a night, and vice versa.

So you want to eat her and eleven of her friends and then miss the end of GI Joe to say goodbye to them?


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46 Re: Ask a Straight Guy on Fri Aug 28, 2009 3:24 pm

Mnemosis

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The Robert Frost of Poop
Thundermatts wrote:So go to the bar. It's not work, you get to drink.

You've never been to my bank


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47 Re: Ask a Straight Guy on Fri Aug 28, 2009 3:25 pm

superdoug

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Zombie Ninja
Zombie Ninja
Mnemosis wrote:
So you want to eat her and eleven of her friends and then miss the end of GI Joe to say goodbye to them?


This took me a minute, but the awesome of it made me scare the cat by laughing out loud.

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48 Re: Ask a Straight Guy on Fri Aug 28, 2009 3:27 pm

Joshua

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Zombie Ninja
Zombie Ninja
Silent K wrote:
unless I want to fuck my Mom or Kerouac.
That's a tough call.

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49 Re: Ask a Straight Guy on Fri Aug 28, 2009 3:27 pm

Mnemosis

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The Robert Frost of Poop
superdoug wrote:
Mnemosis wrote:
So you want to eat her and eleven of her friends and then miss the end of GI Joe to say goodbye to them?


This took me a minute, but the awesome of it made me scare the cat by laughing out loud.

OMG THAT'S AWESOME!


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50 Re: Ask a Straight Guy on Fri Aug 28, 2009 3:28 pm

Mnemosis

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The Robert Frost of Poop
Joshua wrote:
Silent K wrote:
unless I want to fuck my Mom or Kerouac.
That's a tough call.

I'm tighter.


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