Batman Facts

I thought these were very cool! No they are not entirely original nor are they my own but they are a tribute of cool facts about Batman. If you are a Chuck Norris fan then you may appreciate these. I have a list of some I received from gamefaqs.com; feel free to add your own...

1. Every year on Batman's birthday he picks one lucky orphan and round house kicks him into the sun.

2. Batman lost his virginity before his dad.

3. There are no such things as tornadoes.... Batman just hates trailer parks.

Batman doesn't wear a watch. HE DECIDES WHAT TIME IT IS

Batman can divide by zero

The Bermuda Triangle was once referred to as the Bermuda Rectangle until batman chopped one corner of it off with a remote-controlled batarang.

Batman doesn't listen to reason. Reason listens to him.

Batman's pee clogs the toilet

Batman can win a game of Connect 4 in only 3 moves.

Batman shaves by roundhouse kicking himself in the face. Because the only object that can cut Batman is Batman.

Batman sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Bats bat-a-ranged the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month


Once a month Batman secretly has sex with every woman in the world. They bleed for 5 days.

What is the difference between Batman and Blackman? Batman can go out at night without Robin.

Batman's computer is connected to the internet via dial up. It is the fastest computer ever.

Batman roundhouse kicked Bill Gates, now there are red rings of death.

Batman holds the world record for everything, the Guinness book of world records lists only the people who came close to tying with batman.

Batman doesn't sleep, he waits.

Batman once shook hands with Chuck Norris, then there was world peace.

Batman is the only person capable of punching you in the back of the face.

Batman can do a wheelie on a unicycle

Batman was born in a house he built with his own two hands.

Batman once visited the virgin islands, they are now called "the islands"

Batman is why Waldo is hiding.

Batman destroyed the periodic table, because the only element he recognizes is the element of surprise.

Batman is currently suing NBC, claiming that Law and Order are trademarked names of his right and left fist.

Batman was once on a farm where a sheep had just given birth to a stillborn baby. Batman picked up the dead baby sheep as a crowd gathered. He breathed on it and it came to life. As the crowd began to applauded, Batman killed the baby sheep.

The moral of the story: The good Bat giveth, but the good Bat also taketh away.

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday." Batman, however calls this "blinking with my right eye."

If Batman and Chuck Norris ever get within 10 miles of one another, Chuck Norris will break his own neck to avoid capture.

In the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny, it takes Gandalf the Grey, Gandalf the White, Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight, Benito Mussolini, The Blue Meanie Leader, Cowboy Curtis, Jambi the Genie, RoboCop, The Terminator, James T. Kirk, Darth Vader, Lo Pan, Superman, Every Single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston, Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock and Hulk Hogan to bring Chuck Norris down. It would take all the aforementioned people, combined into one and cloned 100 times to cause Batman to break a sweat.

Once, while having sex in a tractor trailer, part of Batman's sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

Once Batman had a staring competition with the sun, then the first solar eclipse came.

If the energies of two Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks collide, the universe would cease to exist. Batman can achieve the same thing with his right ear.

On a celebrity edition of Wheel of fortune, Chuck Norris Spun the wheel for 29 minutes straight. Batman was on last weeks episode, NASA has calculated the wheel will stop spinning around the same time the sun burns out.

Chuck Norris can't believe it's not butter. Batman decided it was not butter.

We don't brush out teeth to prevent cavities; we brush them because they have to be nice and clean for when Batman busts them in

Batman isn't the Dark Knight. He "is" the Dark Knight

Batman once bit off more than he could chew, then chewed it.

The only reason people take the Jokers out of a deck of cards is because if you don't Batman will glide through your window and kick you in the face.

After opening the 500,000, 250,000, 100,000, 75,000, & 50,000 dollar cases on his first try in Deal or No Deal the banker called and offered Batman 500,000 dollars for his case.

Batman doesn't have protected sex because no woman's V is safe from Batman.

God took only 6 days to create the world, and rested on the 7th. When Sunday came Batman took over and completed the rest of the universe.

Batman is the only person to have actually gotten into a fight with the World Record and beat it.

Batman can Checkmate you with just his King.

On the contrary Batman can never be Checkmated as he always has a way out.

OK, OK! I would like to see some from you guys, unless you think this whole thing is stupid and not worth your time.

Once, while having sex in a tractor trailer, part of Batman's sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

That's just... repetitive.

These are my favories:

Once a month Batman secretly has sex with every woman in the world. They bleed for 5 days.

Batman once visited the virgin islands, they are now called "the islands"

Once, while having sex in a tractor trailer, part of Batman's sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

A good few are just basically Chuck Norris jokes flipped towards Batman, but they're still damned funny.

Yeah, I was hoping that they wouldn't be so closely compared to the Chuck Norris jokes but how could they not.

Like BlueMaxx said, if there were no Chuck Norris facts using Batman instead, there was less comparison to make. Then the blame would've been only towards the general stealing of the joke.

Chuck Norris kicks so much ass that he calls himself Batman. And, Batman kicks so much ass that he calls himself Chuck Norris. Some risk a guess by theorizing they are one in the same. Chuck Norris/Batman and Batman/Chuck Norris could not be reached for comment.

BlueMaxx wrote:Chuck Norris kicks so much ass that he calls himself Batman. And, Batman kicks so much ass that he calls himself Chuck Norris. Some risk a guess by theorizing they are one in the same. Chuck Norris/Batman and Batman/Chuck Norris could not be reached for comment.

I like it!!

Those forgot to be funny. FAIL