You Can't Look Cool When...

1) Throwing up.

I've seen lots of people throw up, and none of 'em looked cool doin' it.

Sometimes it was kinda' funny or interesting, but never once did they look cool.


2) Picking up a bike after spilling it.

Seth Green demonstrated this beautifully in "The Italian Job" when Lyle dumps his crotch-rocket & was like, "Hey guys...?"


3) Getting attacked by bees.

It can be freakin' hilarious to watch it happening to someone else, but when it's you jumping around screaming & swatting, it don't look cool.
Oh, no. It just don't.

When you're walking along and not looking where you're going and run into a pole or a door. There's just no playin' that off.

You can't look cool when you slip on icy stairs while carrying a load of books and papers. Especially if you do it while every single popular kid in the school happens to be RIGHT THERE.


You also can't look cool when you rip a huge fart while doing sit-ups in your co-ed gym class.

Catching your balance once you step on an escalator and grab the rail that isn't going the same speed. x:

Pushing a door that says pull.

BlueMaxx wrote:Pushing a door that says pull.

Fuck. I did that on Monday.

Guys can't look cool when they are masturbating.

Joshua wrote:Guys can't look cool when they are masturbating.

em-effer, I look like the Fonz!

AYYYY!

When you ride the city bus or get rides from your mom, but try to act "gangster."

When you wave to the person waving to you, then find out they were waving to someone else

Walking a cat on a leash

Stalling a car, or worse a bike, and even worse stalling your bike in front of a car load of hot chicks

Trying to get dog shit off your shoe

Being wasted, you just think you do!

Gandicles wrote:When you ride the city bus or get rides from your mom, but try to act "gangster."

I was stylin' for like the 5 years I rode the metro... bitch.

When you roll up the car window and your hair gets caught in it. Not that any of you would know. >.<

Lantern Lite wrote:ike, and even worse stalling your bike in front of a car load of hot chicks

Done it. Thankfully you couldn't see my face because I was wearing a bandana and goggles.

Esbat wrote:

Gandicles wrote:When you ride the city bus or get rides from your mom, but try to act "gangster."

I was stylin' for like the 5 years I rode the metro... bitch.

I rode the bus, too. But I didn't try to act like all hardcore and gangsta.

Ska wrote:When you roll up the car window and your hair gets caught in it. Not that any of you would know. >.<

As a matter of fact, I would know. Up until Thanksgiving, my hair was just over a foot and a half long. I did this a couple of times, though the second time wasn't my fault.

Drinking out of a straw if you're a straight guy.

Getting your ass kicked. (Well, in a sense you can if someone is talking about you in the generality of coolness of seeing violence brought down upon you. )

You have a full-face tattoo.

Eating poop. (Even if you're into scat, it is more based on the humiliation. Learneded that in the colage. Was one o'them clases wit the brain-talk. Sykolomy...or somethin'.)

You guys just took me through some of my worst memories!!!!

You yank on the hose to get it around the house and it jumps up and smacks you in the sack while the landscaping crew is watching (fuck it hurt)

trying to talk to a client while their dog is trying to hump your leg

You lose your car in the parking lot and are walking around hitting the door unlock trying to hear the beep

* You come home from that one night in the Combat Zone with a souvenir that has you scratching...

* You come home from that "One Night in Bangkok" in a bodybag... and a rope...

"One town's very like another when your head's down over your pieces, brother..."

When you forgot you used your remote start to turn your car on, so you turn the key too far and crank the engine.

When you're thinking about that certain someone and don't notice the curb in front of Target, and take a spill.

Silent K wrote:

BlueMaxx wrote:Pushing a door that says pull.

Fuck. I did that on Monday.

I did it on... Tuesday I think? I got laughed at. A LOT.

Nodding off while sitting up. You can maybe pull off adorable, but not cool.

Standing behind a cyberman looking like you shat your pants because your sister thought it would be funny to push the button and have the thing come alive while I was posing for a picture

When you drop your tray of drinks in a crowded fast food restraunt...

shining knight wrote:Standing behind a cyberman looking like you shat your pants because your sister thought it would be funny to push the button and have the thing come alive while I was posing for a picture

More often than not, I have no fucking idea what you're talking about.

Trying to suck your own dick.

You've have to take a massive number 2 and have to do that pinched-asshole walk to the nearest toilet.

When you run into someone you sorta know someplace and stop to talk. Only to realize, after you walk away, that you'd been calling that person by the wrong name the entire time.