Ask a Gay Guy!

Just like it says on the tin. Ask me anything you want to know or want advice on. Want to know more about the love that dare not speak its name? Want to know why your girlfriend suddenly won't speak to you after that dinner party? Need a quick party food for your Final Four party? Need to know if that belt goes with those shoes?

Anything you want to ask me, go for it. Only two rules. One, bold your actual question, so I don't confuse chatter with actual questions. Two, keep it respectful, please.

In return, I promise to be forthright and respectful with my answers. Any question asked in honesty will get an honest answer.

So, let the questioning commence!

Joshua wrote:What does it taste like? You know what I mean.

Short answer: Salty.

Long answer:

It depends on a variety of factors: Smoker or non; diet, how fit they are. It's a fair barometer of the health of the body. The healthier you are and the healthier your diet, the sweeter the taste.

Food plays a big factor in it, too. Things like pineapple juice and vanilla ice cream enhance the sweetness, while things like garlic and cabbage tend to lean towards bitterness.

Personally, I think every man should taste his own at least once, so he knows what he's subjecting his partners to.

superdoug wrote:
Personally, I think every man should taste his own at least once, so he knows what he's subjecting his partners to.

Makes sense, but knowing me, I'll end up dipping McNuggets in it.

Aaaaand we're off to a great start

Silent K wrote:
Makes sense, but knowing me, I'll end up dipping McNuggets in it.

Personally, I think every man should taste his own at least once, so he knows what he's subjecting his partners to.

I have never disagreed with you more than I do right now.

*tee hee*
I didn't need to ask that question.




Is Crispin Clover gay, do you know? I seriously cannot tell.
Also, is he a complete jerk, or misunderstood artist?. I can't figure him out, but I love some of his roles/characters.

Splitty wrote:*tee hee*
I didn't need to ask that question.

...
I don't really know how to respond to that.

Splitty wrote:*tee hee*
I didn't need to ask that question.




Is Crispin Clover gay, do you know? I seriously cannot tell.
Also, is he a complete jerk, or misunderstood artist?. I can't figure him out, but I love some of his roles/characters.

Hee. Splitty, I love you.


As far as I know, Crispin Glover is not gay; he is merely creepy. I think at some point, he realized that he made more money playing the creepy loner kind of character (Willard, anyone?), and just bought into that persona. Unfortunately, like Joaquim Phoenix, his body of work -- while impressive -- simply doesn't support his actions off-camera.

Poor guy. I think those Back to the Future movies fucked him up good.

Joshua wrote:I have never disagreed with you more than I do right now.

Quiet, you.

We've already discussed your attempts at auto-fellatio. How did you think that was going to end, if you were successful?

I think Joaquin Phoenix is simply playing a part of the kooky guy, whereas Glover really is a nutbar.

Are you equipped with a Gay-dar.

I know everyone can see that in any perverted way and I do apologize, what I'm asking is can you tell if another person is gay or not, just by looking at them.

superdoug wrote:

Joshua wrote:I have never disagreed with you more than I do right now.

Quiet, you.

We've already discussed your attempts at auto-fellatio. How did you think that was going to end, if you were successful?

I was going to pull out. Not all of us dig on the hot man chowder.

Spider-Man wrote:Are you equipped with a Gay-dar.

I know everyone can see that in any perverted way and I do apologize, what I'm asking is can you tell if another person is gay or not, just by looking at them.

Metrosexuality has fucked up the gaydar.


Okay, that was flip, but it's kind of true. Used to, before metrosexuality and bromances, it was easy to tell when a guy was into other guys, or was at least amenable to the idea of monkeying around. Nowadays, who can tell?

But, for the most part, I can figure it out. Maybe not on sight, but with enough time and exposure, I can usually tell (to quote Miss Claree from Steel Magnolias) 'which side his bread is buttered on.'

Joshua wrote:

superdoug wrote:

Joshua wrote:I have never disagreed with you more than I do right now.

Quiet, you.

We've already discussed your attempts at auto-fellatio. How did you think that was going to end, if you were successful?

I was going to pull out. Not all of us dig on the hot man chowder.

**waiting for the obligatory "ppfftttt, we've heard that one before" comment, so I don't have to say it and sully my name further**

Sweetest SuperDoug,

Boobies: Awesome Pillows or Jewelry Display?

Lub,

Esbat

Joshua wrote:
I was going to pull out. Not all of us dig on the hot man chowder.

You've already gone so far as to bring yourself to orgasm with your own mouth...why not take the shot?

Okay, just to up my gay cred, the whole interchange is this:

Shelby: Does he have any 'friends'.
Claree: Y'know, I asked him that. How he went about meeting people. I mean, in -my- day, you could tell by a man's carriage and demeanor what side his bread was buttered on. He said 'Grandma, it's very easy. All gay men have track lighting, and all gay men are named Mark, Rick, or Steve!' (laughs) Track lighting!
Ouiser: What's so damned funny?
M'Lynn: Oh, Claree was just enlightening us on the marvels of track lighting.
Ouiser: What about track lighting? I love mine.
Claree: -You- have track lighting, Ouiser?
Ouiser: I do. It highlights my new art work. It was my grandson's idea.
Shelby: Oh, I haven't seen him in ages. How is he?
Ouiser: Steve's fine.

Esbat wrote:Sweetest SuperDoug,

Boobies: Awesome Pillows or Jewelry Display?

Lub,

Esbat

Dearest Esbat:

Infant lunchatorium and jewelry display.

Oh Ouiser...

superdoug wrote:
Okay, that was flip, but it's kind of true. Used to, before metrosexuality and bromances, it was easy to tell when a guy was into other guys, or was at least amenable to the idea of monkeying around. Nowadays, who can tell?

<<< Thinks he may be part of the problem.

My love of musicals, flamboyant tendencies, and my possibly-too-comfortable demeanor around guys have caused a couple of people to question where I prefer to lay pipe, but I don't get it because I am a horrible dresser. I once wore brown plaid shorts with a bright green Polynesian shirt. It was a disaster.

I know it's a little off subject but as soon as I started reading this thread eminem lyrics started rolling through my head:
"Dr.Dre..is it gay to play putt putt golf with a friend?"
"Yeah"
"Now I ain't done...and watch his butt butt while he tee's off..."

damn can't remember the rest. oh well. funny.

My question is...I've have heard that some straight women like to watch gay porn (of the male variety). Do gay men get any enjoyment out of watching lesbian or straight porn?




somehow...I don't think that came out right.

FroZen wrote:

My question is...I've have heard that some straight women like to watch gay porn (of the male variety). Do gay men get any enjoyment out of watching lesbian or straight porn?




somehow...I don't think that came out right.

Eh. You're fine. I understand what you're saying. But think about what you're asking. Straight women like to watch gay porn, which features a lot of foreplay and emphasis on the parts.

Straight porn lacks a lot of foreplay; it tends to jump right into the sex, because that's what straight men want to see. It also tends to linger on the woman's anatomy, which is not something that gay men are particularly interested in. So, our enjoyment can only go so far.

There's a site that specializes in straight porn aimed at those gay guys who like to see heteros in action, with a different style of filming...it's likely the kind of porn that your girlfriend/wife would enjoy watching, as well.

Lesbian porn has NOTHING in it that gay men find appealing. If it did, we would be bisexual or straight.

superdoug wrote:

FroZen wrote:

My question is...I've have heard that some straight women like to watch gay porn (of the male variety). Do gay men get any enjoyment out of watching lesbian or straight porn?




somehow...I don't think that came out right.

Eh. You're fine. I understand what you're saying. But think about what you're asking. Straight women like to watch gay porn, which features a lot of foreplay and emphasis on the parts.

Straight porn lacks a lot of foreplay; it tends to jump right into the sex, because that's what straight men want to see. It also tends to linger on the woman's anatomy, which is not something that gay men are particularly interested in. So, our enjoyment can only go so far.

There's a site that specializes in straight porn aimed at those gay guys who like to see heteros in action, with a different style of filming...it's likely the kind of porn that your girlfriend/wife would enjoy watching, as well.

Lesbian porn has NOTHING in it that gay men find appealing. If it did, we would be bisexual or straight.

oh yeah...it's not that it came out wrong...I just didn't think it through all the way...color me stupid.