PoP! Halloween Battle Royale Final Round

Ash VS The Blob.

The Blob.

Ash

Ash

I'll post my vote (via a play by play of how I think the battle would go) tomorrow morning when I get to work (cuz I kinda saved it on my work PC)

The Blob vs. The Chin? Thats all just pillow talk baby.

The Boomstick reigns supreme.

If Ash can take on nightmares incarnate, he can take on some angry gelatin.

Ash

Ash, and here's how:

"Well, I was wrong, this day could get worse." Ashley J. Williams, Chosen One, Slayer of the Deadites, Housewares, stood and watched as the oozing, amorphous mass slowly crept towards him. In a day that had started out crappy, this was the penultimate of shit.

"I never asked for this you know?" He shouted at the thing coming towards him. "Crazy chicks with assault rifles for a leg, werewolves, giant marshmallow sailors, leather and carpentry enthusiasts, and whatever the hell that thing was that exploded out of that naked, tucked, dancing guy are not what I signed on for! Are you even listening to m....of course you aren't, you're just a giant loogie." Shaking his head, Ash hooked his chainsaw fist onto his belt loop and started the engine up. "Guess I'll just have to carve you up into little Jello servings."

He stopped short when he saw the still dissolving form of a man clutching a much larger chainsaw. Back peddling just in time, the gelatinous aggressor barely missed smothering Ash as it reared up and crashed down in front of him. He turned and started running towards a gas station, dropping the chainsaw and popping his mechanical hand onto his stump. "Fine, you're too nimble for the saw, let's see how you like some fire, Scarecrow."

Tearing a sleeve from his shirt and stuffing it into a travel gas can, the bedraggled Chosen One lit it and once again turned to face his attacker. "You want some of old Ash? Well you got it pal, chew on this!" With one fluid motion, the can was airborne. It struck the thing square in the center, sticking like a spitball on a blackboard. Ash watched in smug satisfaction as the plastic dissolved and the gas caught fire, spreading over the thing in front of him and releasing an odor that could only be described as diapers full of Indian food being roasted over flaming, shit-soaked logs. His moment of victory turned to horror as he saw the blob before him start to grow in size from the heat. It branched out and began to encircle the station. Ash turned to run, but quickly found himself surrounded by a ring of pink snot. Explosions rang out as the thing dissolved the tires of the cars it engulfed. Ash dove into the only thing nearby for cover, a Mr. Ding-a-ling ice cream truck.

"Great, just perfect. I've been possessed, thrown through time, and dumped by my reanimimated girlfriend and this is how it ends. Well I got news for you jellyfish-face, I'm not going down without a fight. Come and meet my boomstick!" Ash pulled his shotgun from his back just as the thing slammed into the side of the truck, surging through the window. Losing both is footing and his grip on his gun, Ash fell as the shotgun tumbled to the ground and discharged into the freon canister of the freezer in the truck. The blast of super compressed gas turned to ice crystals in the air as a jet blasted into the mass of the thing outside. The jelly like form of it instantly froze and the entire mass recoiled in apparent pain. "Oh, so mister fancy britches doesn't like the cold huh? Well let's see if we can accommodate you."

Ash dove out the now open window of the truck and started running for his car. The Olds never failed him before, and started like it was fresh off the factory floor as he climbed into the driver's seat. Checking his mirrors, he could see the thing behind him regrouping and beginning to chase him. All he needed to do was get it to the meat packing plant, all the food this thing could want and enough refrigerant to turn it into a giant fruit smoothie. Once in the control room, Ash cranked all the pressure valves to maximum and then started up the assembly line. Machines whirred to life and conveyer belts stared turning. Vats full of liquefied meat by product began spewing their contents into the system. A few well placed shotgun blasts ensured a few choice streams of goo for this thing to chow down on. Ash ran outside to lure the thing in, intent on blasting it with the freon once inside.

"Alright you big, pink....where the hell are you?" The blob was gone, no where to be seen. "How the hell do you lose the world's biggest snot rocket?" Ash turned to go back into the factory and stopped in horror. Pink slime oozed out of every vat of meat and most of the factory floor was covered in 3-4 feet of this thing. Somehow it had gotten behind him and into the factory. "You know what? You can have this town. I quit. I'm going back to Michigan!" As he climbed into the Delta 88, the now factory sized blob surged out at him like a wave at high tide. Cranking the engine, the car sputtered and spurted, but the engine refused to turn over. "Are you kidding me?" The wave of ooze slammed down on the car, engulfing it completely and rocking the shocked. 2 of the tires burst from the force of the hit and the roof caved in a bit. True fear gripped Ash, akin to when the Kandarian demon had carried him through the air and slammed him into a tree before possessing him. Pink gelatin flowed slowly over the windows, bathing him in an odd, rose-hued light as the parking lights glowed through it. A bubbling sound started coming from the vents as Ash clamored over into the back seat. This thing had gotten into the air intakes and started pouring into the car. Ashley closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable. That damned book hadn't been able to kill him, but this thing was about to. Ash heard a muffled explosion and the sound of shattering glass and braced to be covered it ooze. Nothing happened. He opened his eyes and saw his breath hanging in the air. The few tendrils that had started leaking through the vents looked crystallized, and he reached out and snapped off a piece of it with his metal hand. Pulling back, he punched through the rear window, opening a fist sized hole in it. He stared out at the scene in disbelief. Shards of frozen pink ice were raining down like hail, and a huge hole had been blown out of the side and roof of the factory. The thing had flooded over the gas tanks, and the backed up pressure caused a catastrophic integrity failure of the tanks. Cold gas + explosion = ice sculpture time.

"Hahahaha! Take that Smuckers! Ash 1, giant pink snot 0! Hahaha...ho...it's cold in here!" Ash looked at what must have been a solid foot of pink ice coating what he could see of his car. He was gonna be in here a while.

Genius! Make that the official final battle scenario, Nick.

Ash

I was all for the Blob until I read what Goji did, so....


Ash

Ash

Blob

Ash

Voting will close after the PoP!Cast. Article wil be up before you wake up tomorrow Chilrens.

ASH!

Like there was really any doubt.

For realz