Jokes in bad taste

Let's hear some, folks!

Why did princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn't wearing her seat belt

One day an 85-year-old man is taking a stroll around his hometown, which he has lived in for his whole life. As he sees the landmarks, homes, and streets from his youth, he starts reminiscing....

"I remember helping build that bridge when I was 25. I worked hard on that. But people won't call you 'the bridge builder' if you do that here. No, no, they don't!"

"I remember building that house over there when I was 30. But people won't call you 'the house builder' if you do that. No, no they don't!"

"I remember building that tavern that I still lounge at when I was 35. If you do that people won't call you 'the tavern builder' either. They sure won't!"

"But if you f#ck one goat......."

Masochist: "Hurt me."
Sadist: "No."

Once you've made a baby cry how do you make him cry again?



Wipe your bloody dick on his teddy bear.

Joshua wrote:Once you've made a baby cry how do you make him cry again?



Wipe your bloody dick on his teddy bear.

Holy crap!!

A girl with no arms and no legs is layin on a beach. One guy walks by and she says "Sir, could you give me a kiss?" He says "sure" and leans down and gives her a kiss. A little while later another guy walks by and she say's "Sir, could you feel my breasts" And the guy says "sure" and grabs a handful. A third guy walks by a bit later and she says "Sir, can you fuck me?" And he says "Sure." Picks her up, throws her in the water and says "There...you're fucked!"

Anal sex is like spinach: the more your parents force it on you as a child, the less you will like it as an adult.

Recently in Alabama a black man was found nailed to a cross. He had been shot, stabbed repeatedly, burned, and tortured. The local sheriff commented that it was the worst suicide he'd seen in thirty years.

This couple had been dating for a couple of months, and the guy had been afraid to make any sexual advances because he was self-conscious about his tiny-ness.
Finally one night, he gains his courage, and takes her to a secluded spot in his car.
While they are kissing, he undoes his zipper and guides her hand onto his penis.
"No thanks," the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."

What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common?

Both come on little crackers.

^

Uh...

Here's something that probably isn't tasteless.

Joshua wrote:What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common?

Both come on little crackers.

Holy shit!

One day a hooker went to file her taxes, and for occupation she put prostitution.

The tax collector explained that prostitution was an illegal occupation.

She said she'd have to go home and think about it and that she'd call him back in a hour with her occupation.

An hour later she called him and said, "I've got it... I'm a chicken farmer."

He said, "How do you get chicken farmer out of prostitution."

She said, "I raised over a thousand cocks last year."

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?

Their last big hit was The Wall.

What is the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal sex?

One of them makes your day, the other makes your hole weak.

So, a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Shaman walk into a bar.

But there's no Rabbi, and no Shaman, and it's ACTUALLY my eight birthday party and the Priest is molesting me.

And the Priest is my Dad and he's not a Priest.

My Dad molested me.

A lot.

Gandicles wrote:So, a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Shaman walk into a bar.

But there's no Rabbi, and no Shaman, and it's ACTUALLY my eight birthday party and the Priest is molesting me.

And the Priest is my Dad and he's not a Priest.

My Dad molested me.

A lot.

Win.

There was a young girl who lived up in the hills of Tennessee. She was about to turn sixteen, and couldn't wait to get her driver's liscense.

She had been subjected to much ribbing from her older brother, telling her that she was too dumb to get her liscense.

When the big day came around, she passed the test with flying colors.

She rushed home and asked her father if she could use the car that night so she and her friend could go in to town where all the cool kids were at.

The father said, "Sure honey, but you'll have to give me a blow-job first."

Wanting to go to town real bad, she agreed.

As she went down on her father, she suddenly jumped up an said "Dad your dick tastes like shit"

Oh yea, her father replied, "I forgot, your brother's got the car tonight."

Silent K wrote:

Gandicles wrote:So, a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Shaman walk into a bar.

But there's no Rabbi, and no Shaman, and it's ACTUALLY my eight birthday party and the Priest is molesting me.

And the Priest is my Dad and he's not a Priest.

My Dad molested me.

A lot.

Win.

MAD win!!

Surely there must be something worse?

Gandicles wrote:So, a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Shaman walk into a bar.

But there's no Rabbi, and no Shaman, and it's ACTUALLY my eight birthday party and the Priest is molesting me.

And the Priest is my Dad and he's not a Priest.

My Dad molested me.

A lot.

Maybe there's not!

riv1 wrote:Surely there must be something worse?

Some things are worse, but it was the delivery that really sold that one.