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im havin a ball readin this article, like seriously some of these quotes are hilarious, so figured i'd post it
http://comics.ign.com/articles/108/1081350p1.html
Comics Industry to Brad Meltzer: Please Quit
Neil Gaiman, Brian K. Vaughan, Ed Brubaker, Damon Lindelof and more unite to tell one notable creator to turn off his computer.
by Richard George
LATEST IMAGES
April 1, 2010 - We get a lot of news, commentary and quotes here in the IGN offices, but today something interesting happened in the comic book industry. It seems one writer has managed to upset so many creators that finally the industry, almost in unison, is standing up to say "enough is enough." Their target? Identity Crisis, Green Arrow and Justice League of America writer Brad Meltzer.
Here are the quotes various creators contacted us to provide. Their list of complaints are wide and varied. Better start buying some flowers and chocolates, Brad. You have a lot of people to try and win over...
Garth Ennis: "Oh God, Meltzer again. I'm not 100% sure that the drivel this wretched ex-catamite produces is bad for western civilisation, but I know it's bad for me."
John Cassaday: "I get along with Brad very well, but the way he treats his public is appalling. It's one thing to read chapters from a new book at a store signing, it's another for that book to be 'The History of Dirt.'"
Bob Schreck: "Meltzer's run on Green Arrow was an absolute abomination! I invited him to the party solely because of the numbers I knew he'd bring... Face it Brad... we're both whores."
Allan Heinberg: "Brad Meltzer writes as if telling a suspenseful story, grounding it in emotional truth, and grandly entertaining the audience is all that matters in contemporary fiction. Until he writes solely for the critics who govern the so-called literary establishment, Meltzer will have to content himself with merely selling millions of books and making millions of devoted readers deliriously happy."
Phil Hester: "Meltzer has packed more clichÃ
s, hackneyed plot twists, and feeble minded characterizations into his relatively short, but bewilderingly uninterrupted career than most writers find possible in a lifetime. The damage he's done to comics, an art form he purports to love, is incalculable, and will take generations to repair."
Neil Gaiman: "Dear Brad, I'll never forget what a joy it was to meet you at the White House Breakfast. I was just sad that it had to end so soon. Honestly, in retrospect, letting the secret service know you'd made it into the building and within shooting distance of the president, again, might have been a mistake. I should have waited until you'd finished your coffee."
J.H. Williams III: "Meltzer just swims around in the comicbook muck and produces the most astounding work of slimy residue that can be found off the bottom of my shoe!"
Paul Levitz: "Brad has labored mightily to add verisimilitude to comics, bringing sex crimes, paranoia, and twisting characters older than he is claiming to make the stories more suspenseful. Hate to tell you, but some of us liked our comics sweet and harmless. (And by the way, Superman's not real...but if he was, he'd be there to blow out your birthday candles with you.)"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Over the years, Meltzer has helmed some controversial material within the DC Universe. Perhaps it's better that he stick to his successful career as a novelist? Then again, when luminaries from that industry - and others - got wind of what their counterparts in comics were doing, the complaints started pouring in. Here's more of what we were hearing:
Nelson DeMille: "Brad's writing is both good and original. However, what is good is not original and what is original is not good."
Nora Roberts: "I don't really have time to waste on a guy who single-handedly lowered the level of the political thriller to zero. Basically, Brad Meltzer sucks out loud."
Damon Lindelof: "Whilst on the toilet, there is simply nothing better than the collected works of Brad Meltzer. Not to read, mind you, but to wipe with."
R.L. Stine: "I can't say enough about Brad's latest book. I used it to weigh down a trash can lid that kept blowing off-- and it did a better job than any book I tried before. Five stars!"
What does Batman fear most? Being in another Brad Meltzer book.
Patton Oswalt: "Meltzer's writing...is...a roller coaster ride...for my gag reflex..."
Jamie Raab (Meltzer's publisher/editor): "From his first novel THE TENTH JUSTICE to his more recent novels, THE BOOK OF FATE and THE BOOK OF LIES, fans have watched as Meltzer's characters have matured and aged appropriately. It is a shame, therefore, that the same cannot be said of the author himself, who continues to be fixated on comic books and has yet to introduce sex and drugs into his supposedly more adult-themed work."
AJ Jacobs: "Brad Meltzer is the Hemingway of the thriller genre. And by that, I mean he's maladjusted, paranoid and a drunk."
Harlan Coben: "When it comes to writing great thrillers, Brad Meltzer has a nice personality."
Junot Diaz: "Mr. Meltzer latest novel--a dengue stew of imbecilic fatuities--makes a reader wish reading had never been invented--or, for that matter, Brad Meltzer."
Scott Turow: "I know John Grisham . . . and Brad's no John Grisham!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The notes kept coming throughout the day. What at first seemed to be a curious fit of outrage by some creators was turning into a deluge of anger. And then, upon closer inspection, we started noticing a curious detail. Here are a few more letters. See if you spot what we spotted...
Jodi Picoult: "As Wonder Woman's writerly alter ego, all I can offer as a birthday challenge is that my DC character could kick the butt of any of his DC characters. Game on, Brad!"
Marv Wolfman: "To Brad who completely ruined for all time my utterly brilliant and subtly defined character. I worked so very hard to create a sociable well-meaning mercenary for hire who just happened to kill thousands of people (they deserved dying so dispatching them was a Godsend), had sex with a 15-year old chick who smoked and wore revealing lingerie (like duh, of course she was asking for it), turned his oldest son over to a villainous group which then sent him on a mission to his death (first born kids are always a problem) and shot his youngest son in the throat robbing him of the ability to speak (and needless to say, if could speak he would have been asking for it, too). And what did you do? You turned this Fozzie Bear of a sweetheart into a bad guy. You shouldn't be having a birthday. You should be paying for the evil you've done."
Rags Morales: "I recall one night I got a frantic email from Brad saying that if I didn't learn how to draw faster I'd be "visited". Needless to say, I learned not to mess with someone who has connections in Washington. Now every time I see a certified letter from the IRS or some such, I piddle just a bit. Many more happy returns, old man!"
Nicholas Sparks: "I want to congratulate Brad on turning 40. For years, after all, I've been saying that he writes like an 8 year old."
David Baldacci: "For the sheer level of purple prose, inept plotting, snotty-nosed characters and the overall pathetic quality of his entire oeuvre, Meltzer stands alone. He is our Lincoln of crappy fiction. Happy 40th Birthday, Brad, and save some trees."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Are you seeing what we saw? Birthday??? BIRTHDAY??? Clearly we thought this was a joke, and being that today is April 1, we certainly figured this was just a well-coordinated effort by the industry at large... but a bit of research did, in fact turn up the fact that Meltzer was born on April 1, 1970. Today is, in fact, his 40th birthday. Of course that didn't stop these next few folks from giving him some interesting "well wishes."
Brian K. Vaughan: "Happy birthday to the best novelist ever to grace the medium of comics with his presence. Well, after Michael Chabon. And Jonathan Lethem, I guess. Oh, and Stephen King now, too. And what's the name of that one crime writer who did that thing? Anyway, Brad is almost definitely in the top twenty. Top forty, easily."
Even the JLA doesn't stand a chance when Meltzer is writing.
Joe Quesada: "Whenever people talk about Brad, they always (and rightfully so) focus primarily on his immense talent. But for me, it's Brad Meltzer the man that I always like to take note of first. His incredible generosity, his loyal nature and his ability to make you feel like you've known him for your entire life though you've just met for the first time. It's those kinds of things that make Brad truly stand out in this fast food, attention deficit, disposable world we live in.
"I for one will never forget when, without too much arm-twisting, Brad very kindly sent me a copy of his latest novel, Book of Lies. As thrilled as I was by this incredibly show of friendship and camaraderie, nothing prepared me for the thrill of the inscription that waited inside.
To Paul Levitz.
Best,
Brad Meltzer.
Happy Birthday, Brad!!!"
Ed Brubaker: "I've never actually read anything by Brad Meltzer, but I told him I had when we met. I was like 'I'm a huge fan' and then I realized when I got back to my hotel room, that this wasn't actually the guy who wrote The DaVinci Code. Can't believe I wasted a whole night at the Eisners talking to him about Superman's f**king dad or whatever. But Happy Birthday, I guess."
Geoff Johns: "Happy 40th to the guy that made Doctor Light radioactive!"
Dan DiDio: "It's clear with Identity Crisis, Brad was working out some serious personal issues. Hope its all resolved and wishing him a very Happy Birthday!"
You know how the saying goes... with friends like these...
We had one more person to contact regarding all of this mess - Brad Meltzer's wife, Cori.
Cori Meltzer: "Happy 40th to my favorite April Fool."
'Nuff said? We think so. Happy Birthday, Brad. Remind us to set up a new e-mail account when your birthday rolls around next time.
http://comics.ign.com/articles/108/1081350p1.html
Comics Industry to Brad Meltzer: Please Quit
Neil Gaiman, Brian K. Vaughan, Ed Brubaker, Damon Lindelof and more unite to tell one notable creator to turn off his computer.
by Richard George
LATEST IMAGES
April 1, 2010 - We get a lot of news, commentary and quotes here in the IGN offices, but today something interesting happened in the comic book industry. It seems one writer has managed to upset so many creators that finally the industry, almost in unison, is standing up to say "enough is enough." Their target? Identity Crisis, Green Arrow and Justice League of America writer Brad Meltzer.
Here are the quotes various creators contacted us to provide. Their list of complaints are wide and varied. Better start buying some flowers and chocolates, Brad. You have a lot of people to try and win over...
Garth Ennis: "Oh God, Meltzer again. I'm not 100% sure that the drivel this wretched ex-catamite produces is bad for western civilisation, but I know it's bad for me."
John Cassaday: "I get along with Brad very well, but the way he treats his public is appalling. It's one thing to read chapters from a new book at a store signing, it's another for that book to be 'The History of Dirt.'"
Bob Schreck: "Meltzer's run on Green Arrow was an absolute abomination! I invited him to the party solely because of the numbers I knew he'd bring... Face it Brad... we're both whores."
Allan Heinberg: "Brad Meltzer writes as if telling a suspenseful story, grounding it in emotional truth, and grandly entertaining the audience is all that matters in contemporary fiction. Until he writes solely for the critics who govern the so-called literary establishment, Meltzer will have to content himself with merely selling millions of books and making millions of devoted readers deliriously happy."
Phil Hester: "Meltzer has packed more clichÃ
s, hackneyed plot twists, and feeble minded characterizations into his relatively short, but bewilderingly uninterrupted career than most writers find possible in a lifetime. The damage he's done to comics, an art form he purports to love, is incalculable, and will take generations to repair." Neil Gaiman: "Dear Brad, I'll never forget what a joy it was to meet you at the White House Breakfast. I was just sad that it had to end so soon. Honestly, in retrospect, letting the secret service know you'd made it into the building and within shooting distance of the president, again, might have been a mistake. I should have waited until you'd finished your coffee."
J.H. Williams III: "Meltzer just swims around in the comicbook muck and produces the most astounding work of slimy residue that can be found off the bottom of my shoe!"
Paul Levitz: "Brad has labored mightily to add verisimilitude to comics, bringing sex crimes, paranoia, and twisting characters older than he is claiming to make the stories more suspenseful. Hate to tell you, but some of us liked our comics sweet and harmless. (And by the way, Superman's not real...but if he was, he'd be there to blow out your birthday candles with you.)"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Over the years, Meltzer has helmed some controversial material within the DC Universe. Perhaps it's better that he stick to his successful career as a novelist? Then again, when luminaries from that industry - and others - got wind of what their counterparts in comics were doing, the complaints started pouring in. Here's more of what we were hearing:
Nelson DeMille: "Brad's writing is both good and original. However, what is good is not original and what is original is not good."
Nora Roberts: "I don't really have time to waste on a guy who single-handedly lowered the level of the political thriller to zero. Basically, Brad Meltzer sucks out loud."
Damon Lindelof: "Whilst on the toilet, there is simply nothing better than the collected works of Brad Meltzer. Not to read, mind you, but to wipe with."
R.L. Stine: "I can't say enough about Brad's latest book. I used it to weigh down a trash can lid that kept blowing off-- and it did a better job than any book I tried before. Five stars!"
What does Batman fear most? Being in another Brad Meltzer book.
Patton Oswalt: "Meltzer's writing...is...a roller coaster ride...for my gag reflex..."
Jamie Raab (Meltzer's publisher/editor): "From his first novel THE TENTH JUSTICE to his more recent novels, THE BOOK OF FATE and THE BOOK OF LIES, fans have watched as Meltzer's characters have matured and aged appropriately. It is a shame, therefore, that the same cannot be said of the author himself, who continues to be fixated on comic books and has yet to introduce sex and drugs into his supposedly more adult-themed work."
AJ Jacobs: "Brad Meltzer is the Hemingway of the thriller genre. And by that, I mean he's maladjusted, paranoid and a drunk."
Harlan Coben: "When it comes to writing great thrillers, Brad Meltzer has a nice personality."
Junot Diaz: "Mr. Meltzer latest novel--a dengue stew of imbecilic fatuities--makes a reader wish reading had never been invented--or, for that matter, Brad Meltzer."
Scott Turow: "I know John Grisham . . . and Brad's no John Grisham!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The notes kept coming throughout the day. What at first seemed to be a curious fit of outrage by some creators was turning into a deluge of anger. And then, upon closer inspection, we started noticing a curious detail. Here are a few more letters. See if you spot what we spotted...
Jodi Picoult: "As Wonder Woman's writerly alter ego, all I can offer as a birthday challenge is that my DC character could kick the butt of any of his DC characters. Game on, Brad!"
Marv Wolfman: "To Brad who completely ruined for all time my utterly brilliant and subtly defined character. I worked so very hard to create a sociable well-meaning mercenary for hire who just happened to kill thousands of people (they deserved dying so dispatching them was a Godsend), had sex with a 15-year old chick who smoked and wore revealing lingerie (like duh, of course she was asking for it), turned his oldest son over to a villainous group which then sent him on a mission to his death (first born kids are always a problem) and shot his youngest son in the throat robbing him of the ability to speak (and needless to say, if could speak he would have been asking for it, too). And what did you do? You turned this Fozzie Bear of a sweetheart into a bad guy. You shouldn't be having a birthday. You should be paying for the evil you've done."
Rags Morales: "I recall one night I got a frantic email from Brad saying that if I didn't learn how to draw faster I'd be "visited". Needless to say, I learned not to mess with someone who has connections in Washington. Now every time I see a certified letter from the IRS or some such, I piddle just a bit. Many more happy returns, old man!"
Nicholas Sparks: "I want to congratulate Brad on turning 40. For years, after all, I've been saying that he writes like an 8 year old."
David Baldacci: "For the sheer level of purple prose, inept plotting, snotty-nosed characters and the overall pathetic quality of his entire oeuvre, Meltzer stands alone. He is our Lincoln of crappy fiction. Happy 40th Birthday, Brad, and save some trees."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Are you seeing what we saw? Birthday??? BIRTHDAY??? Clearly we thought this was a joke, and being that today is April 1, we certainly figured this was just a well-coordinated effort by the industry at large... but a bit of research did, in fact turn up the fact that Meltzer was born on April 1, 1970. Today is, in fact, his 40th birthday. Of course that didn't stop these next few folks from giving him some interesting "well wishes."
Brian K. Vaughan: "Happy birthday to the best novelist ever to grace the medium of comics with his presence. Well, after Michael Chabon. And Jonathan Lethem, I guess. Oh, and Stephen King now, too. And what's the name of that one crime writer who did that thing? Anyway, Brad is almost definitely in the top twenty. Top forty, easily."
Even the JLA doesn't stand a chance when Meltzer is writing.
Joe Quesada: "Whenever people talk about Brad, they always (and rightfully so) focus primarily on his immense talent. But for me, it's Brad Meltzer the man that I always like to take note of first. His incredible generosity, his loyal nature and his ability to make you feel like you've known him for your entire life though you've just met for the first time. It's those kinds of things that make Brad truly stand out in this fast food, attention deficit, disposable world we live in.
"I for one will never forget when, without too much arm-twisting, Brad very kindly sent me a copy of his latest novel, Book of Lies. As thrilled as I was by this incredibly show of friendship and camaraderie, nothing prepared me for the thrill of the inscription that waited inside.
To Paul Levitz.
Best,
Brad Meltzer.
Happy Birthday, Brad!!!"
Ed Brubaker: "I've never actually read anything by Brad Meltzer, but I told him I had when we met. I was like 'I'm a huge fan' and then I realized when I got back to my hotel room, that this wasn't actually the guy who wrote The DaVinci Code. Can't believe I wasted a whole night at the Eisners talking to him about Superman's f**king dad or whatever. But Happy Birthday, I guess."
Geoff Johns: "Happy 40th to the guy that made Doctor Light radioactive!"
Dan DiDio: "It's clear with Identity Crisis, Brad was working out some serious personal issues. Hope its all resolved and wishing him a very Happy Birthday!"
You know how the saying goes... with friends like these...
We had one more person to contact regarding all of this mess - Brad Meltzer's wife, Cori.
Cori Meltzer: "Happy 40th to my favorite April Fool."
'Nuff said? We think so. Happy Birthday, Brad. Remind us to set up a new e-mail account when your birthday rolls around next time.
