Jonah Hex

Joshua wrote:If I could describe JONAH HEX in one word, it would be: inexplicable. The movie is nothing more than random events, loosely linked together, occurring without much reason or explanation. As an enormous fan of the comic book I am seriously disappointed. As an enormous fan of quality cinema, I am deeply offended. I'm not really sure what the screenwriters and the director thought they were making as this movie came together, but it's nothing even remotely related to entertainment. Some movies are so poorly made and over-the-top that they transcend anything resembling a bad movie and become entertaining, just for all of the wrong reasons. Unfortunately JONAH HEX does not suffer such a burden. It is flat, boring, ridiculous, and again, I come back to the same word, inexplicably bad.

There is a scene in the movie where the title character, played wonderfully well with grit and dark humor by Josh Brolin, is being treated (for a shotgun wound that by all rights, should have ended him) by some random American Indians. Random in the sense that they show up for no purpose and disappear with no purpose. They exist in this movie for one reason only, to cure Jonah Hex. Anyway, their shaman is sprinkling some magic dust on his chest which causes Jonah's chest to erupt in smoke right before a crow (physical or metaphysical, I'm not sure) flies out of Jonah's mouth and joins a murder of crows flying overhead. The movie immediately cuts to Jonah, full healed, riding across the range looking for vengeance. I consider myself a fairly intelligent person, but honestly, I have no idea if the makers of this movie are insinuating that a live crow was literally shot into Jonah's chest or if it's supposed to be a metaphor or a supernatural experience. The movie is completely incoherent when trying to show us what is actually happening or why.

There were many other such instances that causes me to roll my eyes or scoff, but honestly, they're so bad I don't even want to bother. I would, however, like to recommend the screenwriters read a book and get a sense of 19th century American history because they clearly have no sense of events, culture, or geography.

All that said, I don't recommend this movie, not even in a "It's so terrible you've got to see it" kind of way. I have no doubts this movie will flounder at the box office, even if it weren't going against the theater juggernaut known as TOY STORY 3, and it deserves to. Every dollar Jonah Hex makes (even the $5 I knowingly gave to it) is an injustice to human decency.

As an addendum, I would like to note that anyone who sees this movie or smartly avoids it should not let it dissuade them from the DC comic book. I highly recommend reading the comic book, be it the old John Albano & Michael Fleisher stories or the current Justin Gray/Jimmy Palmiotti series. Jonah Hex, as a character, deserves a better movie than this. It's a shame another one probably won't get made in my lifetime.

tstrike99 wrote:that bad huh? curses.....

Spaced4SimonPegg wrote:
So...how was Megan Fox ....no seriously how bad was she

Silent K wrote:How was the music? I was surprised to find out the dudes from Mastodon scored it.

Sadly, none of this will hold. Even the online "No Megan Fox Day" from last year didn't make it. People are too horny and/or obsessed with celebrities to let such a "gem" go away. I guess that only a miracle will make a better actress and give her better projects that she did till now. But even if she keeps doing awful movies (and she will) the media, gossipers and stupid audience won't let Fox disappear.

Silent K wrote:Seriously...after this bombs, I'd appreciate if people stopped giving her acting work, stopped interviewing her, and stopped taking her picture.

Paroxysm wrote:I`d say the best part of this movie was the animated flashback

Joshua wrote:If I could describe JONAH HEX in one word, it would be: inexplicable. The movie is nothing more than random events, loosely linked together, occurring without much reason or explanation. As an enormous fan of the comic book I am seriously disappointed. As an enormous fan of quality cinema, I am deeply offended. I'm not really sure what the screenwriters and the director thought they were making as this movie came together, but it's nothing even remotely related to entertainment. Some movies are so poorly made and over-the-top that they transcend anything resembling a bad movie and become entertaining, just for all of the wrong reasons. Unfortunately JONAH HEX does not suffer such a burden. It is flat, boring, ridiculous, and again, I come back to the same word, inexplicably bad.

There is a scene in the movie where the title character, played wonderfully well with grit and dark humor by Josh Brolin, is being treated (for a shotgun wound that by all rights, should have ended him) by some random American Indians. Random in the sense that they show up for no purpose and disappear with no purpose. They exist in this movie for one reason only, to cure Jonah Hex. Anyway, their shaman is sprinkling some magic dust on his chest which causes Jonah's chest to erupt in smoke right before a crow (physical or metaphysical, I'm not sure) flies out of Jonah's mouth and joins a murder of crows flying overhead. The movie immediately cuts to Jonah, full healed, riding across the range looking for vengeance. I consider myself a fairly intelligent person, but honestly, I have no idea if the makers of this movie are insinuating that a live crow was literally shot into Jonah's chest or if it's supposed to be a metaphor or a supernatural experience. The movie is completely incoherent when trying to show us what is actually happening or why.

There were many other such instances that causes me to roll my eyes or scoff, but honestly, they're so bad I don't even want to bother. I would, however, like to recommend the screenwriters read a book and get a sense of 19th century American history because they clearly have no sense of events, culture, or geography.

All that said, I don't recommend this movie, not even in a "It's so terrible you've got to see it" kind of way. I have no doubts this movie will flounder at the box office, even if it weren't going against the theater juggernaut known as TOY STORY 3, and it deserves to. Every dollar Jonah Hex makes (even the $5 I knowingly gave to it) is an injustice to human decency.

As an addendum, I would like to note that anyone who sees this movie or smartly avoids it should not let it dissuade them from the DC comic book. I highly recommend reading the comic book, be it the old John Albano & Michael Fleisher stories or the current Justin Gray/Jimmy Palmiotti series. Jonah Hex, as a character, deserves a better movie than this. It's a shame another one probably won't get made in my lifetime.

Silent K wrote:Seriously...after this bombs, I'd appreciate if people stopped giving her acting work, stopped interviewing her, and stopped taking her picture.