Eff My Life

(No, not mine. I'm kind of good at the moment, so that's not about me.)

Couple of weeks ago I was introduced to this website called F(uck) My Life. People just post short stories of things that happened to them (or make them up, as some of them sound fake) and sign with "FML".

Today, I finally exchanged pictures with the woman I've been seeing online for some time now. She replied, saying "Thats not funny. Some people actually look like that." I sent my real picture, and thought I actually looked pretty good in it. FML

Today, I got a email from my boss. He said he was going to have to let me go for missing so much work over the last week. I was laid off two months ago. I don't know what is more depressing, getting fired from a job twice or the fact it took two months for them to notice I wasn't there anymore. FML

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. She can't drive, our mom drove her there. FML

Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML

In the same vein as recent "negative" threads in this forum, anyone cares to share FML stories?

I have a feeling not many people will look into this because they think I'm bitching again about something...

Spidey_82 wrote:I have a feeling not many people will look into this because they think I'm bitching again about something...

Nonesense. That's exactly why I came in, because I thought you might need cheering up or something.

Actually, things are going pretty well for me right now, so I just don't have anything to contribute. Give it time though.

I am feeling damn good lately

Splitty wrote:

Spidey_82 wrote:I have a feeling not many people will look into this because they think I'm bitching again about something...

Nonesense. That's exactly why I came in, because I thought you might need cheering up or something.

I came in to make you feel worse, but, damn if you didn't fool me!

I've been to this site, BTW it's frikkin hilarious!

shining knight wrote:I am feeling damn good lately

FML.

The one about the girl and her "Edward" i saw my first time on the site. My GOD that's a bad one!

I've got one.

I'm a treasure hunter; got me a nice Minelab X-terra 70 metal detector & there are a lot of old places here in New England that haven't been "picked over" yet.

Anyway, the New England Treasure Hunter's Society hosts an "open hunt" on a piece of private property each year. Usually it's some old farm that hasn't been hunted yet. We pay an entry fee to participate in a four hour hunt & then it's finders keepers.

There's this one jackass who always goes on these things, and he's a real jerk.

Example: one year we found what was probably an old BBQ pit, & kept finding pcs of tin foil in that area. Now, gold displays around the same numbers as aluminum or tin (10 to 12), and this son-of-a-bitch would re-bury all the tin foil he found, so the rest of us would waste our time digging it up again while he kept hunting for new stuff. It's horribly improper etiquette among hunters; the thing to do is set it aside or pocket it, if it's something small, so that neither you nor anybody else wastes time digging it up again. Anyway, he does shit like that at every hunt, and it pisses off a lot of other members.

Well, the last hunt I was at was @ this old farm on the CT river. He found a New England Shilling (if it's genuine it's worth about forty thousand dollars. Even if it's a fake, it's worth quite a bit) and I, about 20 feet away, found a goddamn spoon.

"It's dull, you twit. It'll hurt more."

Oh, yeah, it hurt more, all right. It hurt WAY the fuck more, -- only because that guy was/is such an undeserving jackass!

FML

Get a few friends together and prank him.
Put a little thought into it, i'm sure you can come up with something good...

Our hamster died today...

Justin wrote:Our hamster died today...

I am sorry to hear that, he was an adorable little guy

I'm so sorry, Justin. I was crushed when Bogie (my first hamster) died. They're so little and cute... I joke about it in the other threads, but really I love the little guys more than I can explain, and my thoughts are with you.

<hug>
He really looks cute and sweet and funny in that pic.

http://www.myhorriblesecret.com/

Lantern Lite wrote:

Justin wrote:Our hamster died today...

I am sorry to hear that, he was an adorable little guy

Sorry about your rodent.

Spidey_82 wrote:http://www.myhorriblesecret.com/

That is one of the most fantastic sites I've ever read and horrible at the same time. It's funny the one that really disturbed me was "I hear voices and see stuff that isn't really there. I haven't told anyone." That person must be suffering from some sort of Schizophrenia and should really tell someone. Good for a laugh though.

Spidey_82 wrote:(No, not mine. I'm kind of good at the moment, so that's not about me.)

Couple of weeks ago I was introduced to this website called F(uck) My Life. People just post short stories of things that happened to them (or make them up, as some of them sound fake) and sign with "FML".

Today, I finally exchanged pictures with the woman I've been seeing online for some time now. She replied, saying "Thats not funny. Some people actually look like that." I sent my real picture, and thought I actually looked pretty good in it. FML

Today, I got a email from my boss. He said he was going to have to let me go for missing so much work over the last week. I was laid off two months ago. I don't know what is more depressing, getting fired from a job twice or the fact it took two months for them to notice I wasn't there anymore. FML

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. She can't drive, our mom drove her there. FML

Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML

In the same vein as recent "negative" threads in this forum, anyone cares to share FML stories?

That reminds me of how I was a few months ago (around Hurricane Ike (I was living in Galveston around that time)). Throughout medical school I've always been poor. I had a TV smaller than my microwave and so forth. Anyways, I woke one morning and realized that I had no money. I opened up my fridge and realized that I had no food (I had a box of old raisons and a bottle of expired olvie oil - I had been telling myself I would go shopping, not realizing that I had no money with me). I duly noted my situation and walked outside to throw my trash away. Then I heard and then saw military helicopters flying over head (quite a few of them). Since I had poor reception and my internet had not been working, someone forgot to inform me that there was a hurricane coming and that day was the final day of evacuation (the tanks driving by cued me in to this). FML indeed.

Spidey_82 wrote:I have a feeling not many people will look into this because they think I'm bitching again about something...

Splitty wrote:
Nonesense. That's exactly why I came in, because I thought you might need cheering up or something.

Seconded!

And, yeah... my life right now, while a bit odd, is certainly headed in the right direction -

For anyone who couldn't surmise from the Truth or Dare thread, or who didn't read it, I'm getting a divorce. My marriage hasn't been awful, by any means, but the connection that should've been there just never was, and after almost 8 years together (2 married) I can't see continuing to try to make it be something it isn't.

Almost simultaneously, though not in any way the cause of it, I seem to have stumbled into something really fantastic. Details are sketchy at the moment, but my entire life is being flip-flopped. In the coming months I expect to be purchasing a new car, moving, and basically entirely reinventing my life. I'm obnoxiously, ridiculously, more-than-should-be-humanly-possible-blissfully happy about all of this. Could it still fall through? Absolutely. There are no guarantees in life. But the prospect, in and of itself, is the most fantastic thing I could imagine.

More on this as it develops; if nothing else, I should be able to open up by WWC. Just know that, yeah... life's pretty awesome.

Mnemosis wrote:

Spidey_82 wrote:I have a feeling not many people will look into this because they think I'm bitching again about something...

Splitty wrote:
Nonesense. That's exactly why I came in, because I thought you might need cheering up or something.

Seconded!

And, yeah... my life right now, while a bit odd, is certainly headed in the right direction -

For anyone who couldn't surmise from the Truth or Dare thread, or who didn't read it, I'm getting a divorce. My marriage hasn't been awful, by any means, but the connection that should've been there just never was, and after almost 8 years together (2 married) I can't see continuing to try to make it be something it isn't.

Almost simultaneously, though not in any way the cause of it, I seem to have stumbled into something really fantastic. Details are sketchy at the moment, but my entire life is being flip-flopped. In the coming months I expect to be purchasing a new car, moving, and basically entirely reinventing my life. I'm obnoxiously, ridiculously, more-than-should-be-humanly-possible-blissfully happy about all of this. Could it still fall through? Absolutely. There are no guarantees in life. But the prospect, in and of itself, is the most fantastic thing I could imagine.

More on this as it develops; if nothing else, I should be able to open up by WWC. Just know that, yeah... life's pretty awesome.

Well good for you!! I'm always happy to hear about peoples lives taking a turn for the better. I hope it all works out for you.

Oh. Sorry to hear about the divorce, but as long as it came as a mutual decision in good terms, so be it. And as part of a new page, that's even better.

Spidey_82 wrote:Oh. Sorry to hear about the divorce, but as long as it came as a mutual decision in good terms, so be it. And as part of a new page, that's even better.

Well, the mutuality is questionable. I believe she knows it's the right thing, but it isn't what she thinks she wants. Does that make sense? In the long run, I feel we will both be better off for it, but for now, she's upset. And I completely understand that. With that said, she's been fantastic about it so far, and I give her all the credit in the world for not being some petty psycho bitch who just does everything she can to make this suck. So far, she's been very easy to deal with on it all, and I think that stands as a testament that she knows it's the right thing.

On a positive note -- now we can spoon with impugnity!

(Well, except for my BF, but that's probably negotiable....)

Mnemosis wrote:

Spidey_82 wrote:Oh. Sorry to hear about the divorce, but as long as it came as a mutual decision in good terms, so be it. And as part of a new page, that's even better.

Well, the mutuality is questionable. I believe she knows it's the right thing, but it isn't what she thinks she wants. Does that make sense? In the long run, I feel we will both be better off for it, but for now, she's upset. And I completely understand that. With that said, she's been fantastic about it so far, and I give her all the credit in the world for not being some petty psycho bitch who just does everything she can to make this suck. So far, she's been very easy to deal with on it all, and I think that stands as a testament that she knows it's the right thing.

I'm sorry to hear about that. The stuff in the Verizon thread makes more sense now, but does make me sad. I'm glad to hear that the process has been aimable. That's always good. It makes things in general easier.

superdoug wrote:On a positive note -- now we can spoon with impugnity!

(Well, except for my BF, but that's probably negotiable....)

Is it just me, or does Spooning with Impugnity sound like a song title?

You bet.

Dr. Wade Fucking McNasty wrote:I'm sorry to hear about that. The stuff in the Verizon thread makes more sense now, but does make me sad. I'm glad to hear that the process has been aimable. That's always good. It makes things in general easier.

::shrugs:: I'm sorry that it's where things had to end up, but I'm not sorry that the steps have been taken. Growth, moving forward, new opportunities.

As I've said before, if I regretted anything in my past, it would suggest that I'm anything less than happy with who I am, and that is categorically NOT the case.

Today I went to a business meeting at lunch with my bosses and couple co-workers. When we arrived I had to pee and immediately went to the toilet. It was just one cubicle in the backyard of the restaurant and I closed the door behind me, pretty sure I locked it. While I peed the door was opened. I looked behind my shoulder and yelled "Occupied!" and there was a middle-aged woman who said "Oww..." disgustingly and closed it back. I just finished and locked it again before I wash my hands, apparently the key had to be turned harder than I thought. FML.