Ask an Esbat!

Not gay? Not quite straight either? Would you rather fingerblast The Baroness or Rainbow Brite? Then you've come to the right individual. I will answer any and all questions regarding life, liberty, and the pursuit of the inanimate... you can trust me, I'm a Doctor.

Signed,

Dr. Esbat von Lichtenstein, Esq.

Would you rather fingerblast The Baroness

funny you should mention that...Teegs did pay a visit to me in her full baroness outfit yesterday night....

what happened? I'll never tell

When there's blood in my poop, should I be worried?

shining knight wrote:

Would you rather fingerblast The Baroness

funny you should mention that...Teegs did pay a visit to me in her full baroness outfit yesterday night....

what happened? I'll never tell

Dear David "The Motley Scot" Page,

Pix or GTFO.

Signed,

Dr. Esbat von Lichtenstein, Esq.

alucardbarnivous wrote:When there's blood in my poop, should I be worried?

To the Whitworth this may concern,

Ew, TMI.

Love,

Doc 'Bat

Dear Dr. Esbat,

My nipples itch. What should I do?

Thanks in advance,
B.Halo
Canadia

blue halo wrote:Dear Dr. Esbat,

My nipples itch. What should I do?

Thanks in advance,
B.Halo
Canadia

B. Halo,

Scratch them... or oil them up. Either way, prepare to ride a wave of pleasure.

Love,

Doc 'Bat

Dear Esbat,

I haven't looked at porn on the internet in a long time. Is there something wrong with me?

Thanks for reading.

-Longtime fan, BlueMaxx.

Dear Dr. Esbat von Lichtenstein, Esq.,

I have a physical anatomy question for ya.
Why do women sooooo easily 'nip out' when cold (or excited), but men not so much???




Thankyou,
-Bundled Up

alucardbarnivous wrote:When there's blood in my poop, should I be worried?

You're probably joking, but yes it's a big problem. In fact, the darker the color the worse the problem it could be. If it's real dark that means it came from way deep inside you, meaning it could be cancer. But fear not, it could just be internal hemorrhoids or an anal fissure if its a lighter color! Either way, get to a doctor post haste!

Don't ask me how I know these things.

Lord PaulVincent wrote:

alucardbarnivous wrote:When there's blood in my poop, should I be worried?

You're probably joking, but yes it's a big problem. In fact, the darker the color the worse the problem it could be. If it's real dark that means it came from way deep inside you, meaning it could be cancer. But fear not, it could just be internal hemorrhoids or an anal fissure if its a lighter color! Either way, get to a doctor post haste!

Don't ask me how I know these things.

*pulls thumb out of ass*

Good news, it's hemorrhoids!

Splitty wrote:Dear Dr. Esbat von Lichtenstein, Esq.,

I have a physical anatomy question for ya.
Why do women sooooo easily 'nip out' when cold (or excited), but men not so much???




Thankyou,
-Bundled Up

^This

ha!

Dear Esbat

are you really a Dr?

alucardbarnivous wrote:When there's blood in my poop, should I be worried?

Is it yours, or someone elses?

Splitty wrote:Dear Dr. Esbat von Lichtenstein, Esq.,

I have a physical anatomy question for ya.
Why do women sooooo easily 'nip out' when cold (or excited), but men not so much???




Thankyou,
-Bundled Up

Proof positive that FSM has a winky, not a hoo-ha.

Mnemosis wrote:Proof positive that FSM has a winky, not a hoo-ha.

Somebody watched a whole bunch of Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place!

BlueMaxx wrote:Dear Esbat,

I haven't looked at porn on the internet in a long time. Is there something wrong with me?

Thanks for reading.

-Longtime fan, BlueMaxx.

No, you simply need to pay your light bill.

Splitty wrote:Dear Dr. Esbat von Lichtenstein, Esq.,

I have a physical anatomy question for ya.
Why do women sooooo easily 'nip out' when cold (or excited), but men not so much???




Thankyou,
-Bundled Up

Nips are made up of tissue that is meant to contract, this is usually triggered by the release of Oxytocin (sexual arousal or breast feeding) or simply the body is protecting itself by shutting its blood supply off from external lower temperatures.

Chicks got nice warm fat in their boobs so thus the skin is more sensitive to temperature dips, while dudes tough it out. Some bearers of Moobs also suffer from cold-nip-sensitivity due to moobage.

Also, I prescribe a photo for my personal files. *ahem*

Lord PaulVincent wrote:

alucardbarnivous wrote:When there's blood in my poop, should I be worried?

You're probably joking, but yes it's a big problem. In fact, the darker the color the worse the problem it could be. If it's real dark that means it came from way deep inside you, meaning it could be cancer. But fear not, it could just be internal hemorrhoids or an anal fissure if its a lighter color! Either way, get to a doctor post haste!

Don't ask me how I know these things.

Get off my plane!

melvinlikechris wrote:Dear Esbat

are you really a Dr?

Only in Estonia, East Berlin, and The Czech Republic (but not Slovakia).

Esbat wrote:
Nips are made up of tissue that is meant to contract, this is usually triggered by the release of Oxytocin (sexual arousal or breast feeding) or simply the body is protecting itself by shutting its blood supply off from external lower temperatures.

Chicks got nice warm fat in their boobs so thus the skin is more sensitive to temperature dips, while dudes tough it out. Some bearers of Moobs also suffer from cold-nip-sensitivity due to moobage.

You totally looked that up. Cheater!

Oh, you answered.

Esbat wrote:

BlueMaxx wrote:Dear Esbat,

I haven't looked at porn on the internet in a long time. Is there something wrong with me?

Thanks for reading.

-Longtime fan, BlueMaxx.

No, you simply need to pay your light bill.

...light bill? *Looks around* They're on!!!

BlueMaxx wrote:
...light bill? *Looks around* They're on!!!

Dear Dr. Esbat,

Thanks for your help. While the fist-shaped butt plug was a little uncomfortable for a while, I'm still not sure the badger was entirely necessary. Can you prescribe a good ointment for the scratches?

Thanks again,
B.Halo

Dear mr esbat....

Who knows what lurks in the boogers of men?

Dear Doctor,


Long time reader, I'm a huge fan.I mean a REALLY big fan!! I'm starting to think that no one really appreciates you the way I do. And you never return my calls or even send nice thank you notes for the cat hearts I keep shipping to you via U.P.S. Why don't you love me? I've been sitting outside you're house at night watching you walk past you're windows. I'm still holding the pair of boxers I took from you're hamper. If I can't have you.....no one will. Why are lady bugs red with black spots?

Your biggest fan in the world.
you will be mine.

FroZen.

.....I thought you were MY biggest fan I disillusioned now

shining knight wrote:.....I thought you were MY biggest fan I disillusioned now

Airline tickets to Glasgow just so I could sit outside the Library was getting expensive...I had to change up...sorry.