Hey! HEY! Why don't you ask a girl instead?!?!

Ladies: Does this look infected? Should I keep picking at it?

yes and yes

SWEET. *picks away*

YOU JUST SAID I COULD!!!

Make sure after you pick it open you rub it all over the place so other things can get infected too.

OKAY!!! *resumes picking*

so here's an update...

'L' has made it clear that we're just friends. But she may have a friend she thinks i might be interested in. I'm legitimately intrigued. i don't know more than that, but im at least willing to give it a shot. 'S'. She's been on my mind. I can't help that i still have feelings for her, i still care for her, etc., all things considered. I still buy that she's a good person. Maybe im too gullible, maybe i just don't know any better. I talked to her last night. This guy she's dating is a real douche. There's no question about that. Apparently he's trying to push her into having sex, which is something she's not ready for. It seems like that's all he's interested in, and the only thing he can compliment her on is her tits. Which, nice as they are, she has many other redeeming qualities. She's smart, she's funny, all that. And this guy clearly doesn't deserve her. Now i told her all of this, but i told her also i can't tell her what to do, bcuz it's her life and her decision. I just don't want her to get her hurt. We also talked about some other things. I told her that the last couple of days, it's been wierd. My head is all...messed up. I like talking to her, and im glad we're friends but part of me is starting to miss her. I told her how the other night i was thinking about those nights in the park, just holding her and the way the moonlight reflected on her skin. She told me she's been thinking alot too, not sure if that means she misses me in that respect or what...I also told her that i wasn't even sure if hypothetically i would want to get back together and that's true. I don't want to be hurt again. We also talked about what went wrong with 'us'. We got to a point towards the end of the relationship where, even though we have alot in common, we didn't have much to talk about, and of course, I fell too hard too fast. I told her i don't want that to happen again. i know though, that if it looks like we might get back together, that the first thing im going to tell her is that im gonna need something, to show me she's more serious this time. Not like a sexual thing, or anything, but just...something. idk. Advice?

life's too complicated.

Whip it out.

azrael07 wrote:i know though, that if it looks like we might get back together, that the first thing im going to tell her is that im gonna need something, to show me she's more serious this time.

I don't think that "S" is in any sort of emotional position to be able to give you any guarantees as to relationship stability. It seems to me that she needs some time alone to do some soul-searching, and I think that you need to be able to support her in that. If she's really unhappy in her current relationship, she needs help to get out of that bad situation.

Obviously, you still have feelings for her, but if you really care for this girl, you should take a step back and be there for her as a friend and help her get her own head sorted out, as well as figuring out what you really want. Because, as long as she's using having a boyfriend as a crutch to feel better about herself, she can't really have a meaningful relationship. And that will just end up hurting the both of you.

Basically, I think this girl needs to find some self-worth before she settles down with you or anyone else, and she's the only one who can make that happen. But, having the support of someone who cares about her will help that along.

I hope that helps.

i agree. and yes that helps. i know she's got some soul-searching to do, the relationship she was in before we got together was with a really super controlling, super abusive jerk. so yeah. If she were to break up with this guy, i wouldn't just swoop in right away. Im not like that. I want to help her, and be supportive, and be there for her.

^ I disagree with C-Pain.

Do NOT be her friend and help her find herself...because you're just going to end up being her shoulder to cry on, her rock, and then she's gonna end up blowing some other dude. And you'll be there to pick up the pieces again.

RUN.

azrael07 wrote:i agree. and yes that helps. i know she's got some soul-searching to do, the relationship she was in before we got together was with a really super controlling, super abusive jerk. so yeah. If she were to break up with this guy, i wouldn't just swoop in right away. Im not like that. I want to help her, and be supportive, and be there for her.

Seriously, Az...read the fucking writing on the wall. Her relationship before you was with an asshole. Her current relationship is with an asshole. Yet she dumped you. Let her have her assholes and eat it too.

RUN. FAR AWAY. She's fucking poison.

Was she into eating assholes? If so, then A+

Silent K wrote:^ I disagree with C-Pain.

Do NOT be her friend and help her find herself...because you're just going to end up being her shoulder to cry on, her rock, and then she's gonna end up blowing some other dude. And you'll be there to pick up the pieces again.

RUN.

So? I still see no reason why a guy can't just be a friend with a girl he cares for. (Although I do remember last night's conversation, and I know guys don't see it that way.)

I'm not saying he shouldn't be looking for other pussy. Then, when she's out blowing some other dude, who cares? He's already got himself another woman.

I'm just advocating being a good person. (One thing to remember, though, is that when you're a good person, you're often taken advantage of, which she will most likely do.)

CPain, you don't know how boys work. (Emotionally, not biologically. The second one's pretty easy)

Az, maybe some science will help you see clearly:

Captain Painway wrote:(One thing to remember, though, is that when you're a good person, you're often taken advantage of, which she will most likely do.)

This.

Heytherejeffro wrote:CPain, you don't know how boys work. (Emotionally, not biologically. The second one's pretty easy)

You're damn right about that. As much as I'm into "guy stuff", I will never be able to see things from a man's point of view.

(But, this is the "Ask a Girl" thread. )

thanks guys. Yeah, i realise she's doing this whole asshole thing, but i think that part of the reason she's dating these types of guys is because a)she still doesn't know what she wants, and b)she doesn't know who she is, she has alot of rebuilding to do after that last guy because he devastated her self-esteem and her mind. I want to be there for her as a friend, as much as it might hurt me to see her get hurt and everything. It's just...thats who i am. I feel like i have to be there. As nice as a guy as i am. I have issues in relationships. I have trouble being myself, i get kindof clingy, I fall too hard. I...idk. I have issues. I never knew my real father. I have the man who raised me since i can remember, who i know as my dad, and love with all my heart, and then there's my biological father. My biological father, was an asshole. He was controlling, abusive, angry, obsessive, the wrong type of guy by all accounts and my mom had the good sense to dump his ass. But i never knew him. I think maybe this is an abondonment issue that i have, that im currently dealing with (hopefully within the next few months, ill see some old pictures, and maybe be able to get in contact with him, at least to meet him). I hope though, that if we get back together, or i meet this friend of L's, or whatever that i can work on being myself and not somebody who's too clingy.

Yknow what, dude? You said it yourself. You have your own shit to work out. You don't need to deal with someone else's baggage, problems, etc. No need for L, M, N, O, or P.

Stay single. Get your shit straight. And the girl you're looking for will eventually reveal herself to you.

but i don't want to be alone.

azrael07 wrote:but i don't want to be alone.

Then get a cat. You're no good to anyone else until you get your head on straight, and you and whoever you turn your attentions on will only suffer as a result. If you're wanting unconditional love, a pet will give that to you. Your hand will give you satisfaction, and your friends will give you support. You don't need a mate until you're ready for one, no matter what you might think you're feeling.


I'm not trying to be mean or hurt your feelings, but if you've got your own baggage you don't need to be picking up anyone else's.

I fully support the above statement.

yeah. and i don't think you're being mean. i know all of you guys are only looking out for me, and are giving me some good advice. So i do appreciate it. thank you all.