Goji's drunk movie review: Roger Corman's Fantastic Four

So I've got a cold Guiness 250, some Ramen cooking, and a copy of Roger Corman's Fantastic Four I'm about to watch. I figure I'll drink, watch the movie, and give some commentary as I go. Stay Tuned

Sweet. Tell me if you paused and zoomed the hell out of that walking-in-on-Sue-naked scene.



By the by...nothing.

I LOVE YOU MAN GUINESS 250 IS SOOOOO FUCKING GOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!

Haven't started yet, but thanks for the head's up Blue.

Yes it is Crane...sadly, I bought the last two six packs from my local grocery store....hopefully I can find some more at my bev center.

I need more of it I had one six pack and the first one I opened and drank I dropped to my knees and I cried. Really I did

So the guy who made this included the trailer in front of the movie.....I think they stole the music from Krull for the trailer.

Alright, the commissioner from Police Academy is in this movie.....that makes it awesome so far.

A diamond heist....really Doom?

Oh, I get it....Richards is using the diamonds in his experiments....and Doom wants to Curse Richarrrrdddddsssss!!!!!!!

Mental note....if I'm going to protect a priceless diamond (that looks like a pile of quartz) don't place a laser alarm grid at ankle level and make it glow green.

First actual shot of Dr. Doom....it's actually better than the Tim Story Doom....but then they show a wide angle on him and capture the whole costume....while the mask looks good the rest doesn't translate as well to film.

Now I am getting drunk reading a drunken review

Good on ya Crane.

First glimpse of The Thing.....I gotta say, the animatronics of the face are excellent. While not as broad and muscular as the Michael Chiklis Thing, it's actually pretty good.

Oh, and 43 minutes into the film and onto Guiness #3.

Gojiratoho wrote:Oh, and 43 minutes into the film and onto Guiness #3.

(HIGH FIVE*

High Five



Holy Shit.....Johnny Storm is the Boy Who Could Fly.

Yeah...the oboe and bass for the Jewler's scenes (diamond thief sub plot) are a bit much....it's like watching a WB cartoon character sneak up on someone with pizzicato violin playing in the background

Why isn't this movie over with already?.....So far the only good thing is The Thing.

So the big, carthardic, Ben Grimm rebelling against the others because their ability doesn't make them look different scene consists of him annoying some hookers and a greasy spoon chef.

ha-HA....Ben joins the Jewler's gang...the plots come full circle.

Math reveals to Richard's that Doom is alive....and the next scene he's assaulting the Jewler's gang......and using a gun.

Jewler threatens Alicia Masters, Ben Grimm to the rescue.....and Alicia's love turn's him back to human.....wow.........why am I watching this again?

Oh...that's why...his angst over failing to save Alicia turns him back to the Thing....in an awesome multi shot composite scene.

Here's a fun fact. The guy who played the Thing Played "Super Freddy" In Nightmare on Elm Street 5. And Guinness can make anything better

That is a fun fact...and no...three Guinesses in and this is not better...they just showed up with white collared blue suits....not better.


Lord...I pray unto thee...take the pain away.....I beg thee.