The Confessions Thread

I peed on the doorknob of a apartment next to a bar. I think my friend, whom I asked for her to watch for cars, specifically cops, saw me pee. As in watched me. I looked back because I heard a car, and I catch her face blurring and playing it off like she was looking around for me.
Me -
Her -
Me - ...

I once peed in the sink at a convent, but it was an emergency. I've actually urinated in far, far worse places, but I'm taking those secrets to the grave.

On a few different nights of hitting the bars, my wife has woke up to me pissin' in my sock drawer and swearing up and down I was in the bathroom when she yelled at me to stop. I never remember doing this. Oh and once showered a buddies stereo under the same circumstance. I have since quit drinking so heavily.

FroZen wrote:On a few different nights of hitting the bars, my wife has woke up to me pissin' in my sock drawer and swearing up and down I was in the bathroom when she yelled at me to stop. I never remember doing this. Oh and once showered a buddies stereo under the same circumstance. I have since quit drinking so heavily.

That reminds me of the time when a nine-year-old me sleepwalked into my brother's bedroom and started peeing in his trash can (which was wicker). I woke up to him screaming and my penis hanging out of my pajamas. That may be the most discombobulating experience of my entire life.

Joshua wrote:discombobulating

I just felt that word beared repeating.

<lopsided grin>
Anyone got any confessions that do NOT have to do with pee?

Topcat wrote:<lopsided grin>
Anyone got any confessions that do NOT have to do with pee?

I shit in a public swimming pool once.

Topcat wrote:<lopsided grin>
Anyone got any confessions that do NOT have to do with pee?

Sorry!

Johnny Appleseed's grave in my town and every so often me and my buddies would piss on it just to say, we've pissed on Johnny Appleseed's grave.

Joshua wrote:

Topcat wrote:<lopsided grin>
Anyone got any confessions that do NOT have to do with pee?

I shit in a public swimming pool once.

(Your timing is impeccable, dude!)

krpykrwly wrote:

Topcat wrote:<lopsided grin>
Anyone got any confessions that do NOT have to do with pee?

Sorry!

Johnny Appleseed's grave in my town and every so often me and my buddies would piss on it just to say, we've pissed on Johnny Appleseed's grave.

Well since we're back on urine, I was once duped into unwittingly drinking some.

Man just when you think you couldn't be more mentally scarred....a susan boyle porn scene is mentioned....you are getting my psychiatry bill buddy!

shining knight wrote:Man just when you think you couldn't be more mentally scarred....a susan boyle porn scene is mentioned....you are getting my psychiatry bill buddy!

Thats nothing, word on the street is she and betty white are going to do a sequel to 2 girls 1 cup.

JRob wrote:

shining knight wrote:Man just when you think you couldn't be more mentally scarred....a susan boyle porn scene is mentioned....you are getting my psychiatry bill buddy!

Thats nothing, word on the street is she and betty white are going to do a sequel to 2 girls 1 cup.

OMG! You sir now have my utmost respect.

It was gonna be 3 girls one cup but Bea Arthur dropped...




out.



Too soon?

Thundermatts wrote:It was gonna be 3 girls one cup but Bea Arthur dropped...




out.



Too soon?

I feel bad for laughing.

Thundermatts wrote:It was gonna be 3 girls one cup but Bea Arthur dropped...




out.



Too soon?

just a bit early...good set up..nice delivery...timing just off a bit

When I was younger I could vomit on command, even if my stomach was empty.

My first girlfriend and I once had sex in a church.


I once shit in a birdbath.

I left a drunk, naked girl at a bus stop. (See WUMB)


Once on a trip to Sacremento with some friends, we picked up a girl who needed a ride only to find out twenty minutes into the drive that she was a hooker.

I broke into a church building and stole money to buy popcicles when I was 10.

I participated(there were 5 of us) in beating a mentally hanicapped kid with wiffle ball bats the same year as the confession above.

I beat the hell out of my best friend while intoxicated for doing nothing more than saying "you're fucked up".

I bashed a kids head off of a urinal in high school while he was pissing for "titty twisting " me 15 minutes earlier.

I'm a recovering coke addict.(been off the stuff for about 3 years now)

I probably have a drinking problem.

I passed out during the opening song of a gig my band was playing and took out the entire drumset because I held a scream way too long and was screwed up on a nasty little "cocktail" of recreational drugs.

Had one of the deepest conversations of my life with a toilet while tripping on LSD.

(and if you are at all wondering...every one of these is absolutely true.)

FroZen wrote:
Had one of the deepest conversations of my life with a toilet while tripping on LSD.

Awesome.

I use to send people I didn't like computer viruses.

Gandicles wrote:

FroZen wrote:
Had one of the deepest conversations of my life with a toilet while tripping on LSD.

Awesome.

.

Yeah...it was

I stole my professor's car one time, loaded it up with manure, and crashed it into his garage (he had it coming).

I drugged a friend (with his own date rape drugs, actually so he kind of had it coming), and let him think he slept with a guy (he was deeply homophobic and there was a large gay population where we lived).

I accidently destroyed a number of statues at my university using a homemade "bazooka" (a bunch of us made it, I tested it).


When I think about it, I was a menace in college.

FroZen wrote:Had one of the deepest conversations of my life with a toilet while tripping on LSD.

That rocks. The reminds me of when I wrote my philosophy
paper while high. I got an A, but it was obvious I was on
something (somehow, I made a moral dillemma out of making animal sounds during sex).

deadbolt85 wrote:
I left a drunk, naked girl at a bus stop. (See WUMB)

This reminds me of a good/terrible story.

A friend of mine (WHOM SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS) lived in a pretty unorthodox household (Mom sold pot, stoners and druggies in and out all the time).

One time, he and I (this was when we were late teens) were playing some old school NES or SNES game at the apartment, and one of the boarders at the time (Ash, a real scumbag shyster) brought home a couple, sold them some Special K, and they cooked it up and snorted it right there in the kitchen. The couple didn't handle it well in their "k-holes", and eventually, Ash started freaking out because they were still high and unmovable when the friend's mom was supposed to be home. So, CRYING, he begged us to help him get rid of the two, and bring them back to their hotel. Dragging them out to the parking lot was an ordeal all unto itself, but finally we got the two into their rental car, and the friend and Ash drove while I followed in my car. We pull up to the hotel, they dump the two druggies onto a bench outside the lobby, they hop in my car, and we ditch.

We find out later, that the chick was the girlfriend of another "regular" at the apartment, and she was apparently gangbanged that night by the dude and his friends.

That's the closest I think I've ever come to a Quentin Tarantino movie.

I am assuming the special k mentioned is not the breakfast cereal?

shining knight wrote:I am assuming the special k mentioned is not the breakfast cereal?

Ketamine (Special K)