The Confessions Thread

1) I lit a girl's hair on fire during a Pink Floyd concert.

This was years ago. I worked in a cd wholesale/distributor warehouse - we sold to all the little music stores in New England - and the label reps were always giving me tickets & promo stuff 'cuz I was 15 and the only girl there. Anyway, I got 5th row for their "Momentary Lapse of Reason" tour, and during the part of the show when they had the giant helium pig floating around over the audience, this girl in front of me (who was obviously on something) kept standing up, waving her arms, & shouting "PIGGY-PIGGY-PIGGY!" in this really screechy voice. It was annoying as shit, plus, when she stood up I couldn't see the show. First I yelled "Sit DOWN" a coupla' times - no avail. Then I grabbed her by the shoulders & bodily slammed her back down into her seat... she didn't even turn around. I don't think she even noticed. So finally, I used a lighter to set her hair on fire. She had long blonde hair [initially], and it just went "FWOOM!" Suddenly it was much shorter & darker. Didn't stay burning, thank God, but it was DEFINITELY a mess.

The kicker? She STILL didn't turn around -- she wasn't even aware it had happened! For the rest of the show I waited for an altercation that never came. She must've been on something mighty powerful...

I was a mean bitch back then, and altho' I wouldn't do the same thing in the same situation today, a part of me will always wonder what she thot' of her new 'do the next day, tho...

2) I fell off the catwalk during a fashion show in London.

From my late teens thru' early twenties, I was an editorial fashion model. I had contracts with Elite in NY and IMG in London, and tho' most of my work was print I did occasionally do some fashion shows.

Anyway, at this one show I was to wear these awful shoes; basically they were a 4" wooden base in the shape of a foot, with eyelets all around the top edge, & long green ribbons which were to wind up the calf & tie below the knee, holding the shoes in place...
Yeah, right.

I knew they would be a problem - even practiced wearing them for three days before the show, but still - I went down. As I was walking I could feel the ribbon slipping down my right leg (it had been tied off tightly just below the knee & criss-crossed down to the wooden base) & knew I was gonna lose it... which I did.

I landed on my ass, nearly toppled off the platform entirely but thankfully it was just one leg hanging over the edge. It hurt like hell -- my right ankle has been broken several times & has always been weak -- but I did my best to open my arms with a flourish and a smile ("TADA!"). Then I untied both shoes, got up slowly, draped them over my shoulder by the ribbons, & walked [limped] offstage with what I hoped was a believable panache.

It was one of the most humiliating moments of my life, and tho' I can laugh at it now, I was horrified when it happened. Plus, I had re-fractured my ankle & had to wear a cast after that, which lost me some work. Even after the cast came off, I had to work that leg to get my muscle tone back & equal to the left calf again. That goddamn pair of shoes was the absolute worst piece of attire I have ever worn in my entire life.

I am such an idiot when trying to ask a girl out...

Things always go wrong when talking to a girl its kind of sad really. There was this time when I ended up in hospital after kissing a girl I was lucky I wasn't killed

What happened was after kissing my ex for the first time during the bells (new years eve for non scots) I tripped over something and ended up first first through the glass door in my house.

What a start to the new year that was I can tell you that

^ Wow...well, you have another half year before something horrible happens. Heh.

Topcat wrote:1) I lit a girl's hair on fire during a Pink Floyd concert.

2) I fell off the catwalk during a fashion show in London.

1) Great concert story.
2) I'm guessing for me to say, "That sucked," just wouldn't cut it, huh?

I spilled brown painton the carpet of an accounting firm I'm painting yesterday. So...that sucked. Cleaned it up the best we could with paint thinner and a carpet cleaner. *sigh*...they were getting new carpet anyway.

I was once physically abused by supposed "friends" and teammates for one of those UIL scholastic Pentathalon teams in Junior High. We were set up 4 to a room, and I being the token hispanic kid on the team, was jumped for about an hour in the room because 2 of the punkasses were spoiled white kids who parents ignored them. They always treated me badly in school but since I wasn't accepted by the hispanic kids for acting too white... and wasn't accepted by the white kids because I wasn't white, I had no one to relate to. So I mostly hid in the school library for those 2 years.

I never really told anyone about getting beat up during the trip, and the worst part of all is I wasn't allowed to sleep in either of the two beds in the bed room section nor in the fold out bed in the living room. I had to sleep sitting up in one of the living room chairs. The next day we had the Pentathalon meet and I had a hard time sitting down and keeping my eyes open.

At the end of the day I earned 2 silver medals, one for the science and one for the writing portion, and I was awarded the gold medal for the highest overall scores on the 8th grade team. I did all that while nursing severe bruising on the back, thighs, and legs that really hurt during the many hours sitting on hard classroom chairs.

On the way back home one of the punk ass kids that hurt me was crying because he didn't earn any medals. So the other two kids demanded I give him my gold medal so he could lie to his parents that he won one. I told them to "Fuck Off" so loud I earned a week of after school detention... and that was the first time I ever used a curse word.

shining knight wrote:I am such an idiot when trying to ask a girl out...

Things always go wrong when talking to a girl its kind of sad really. There was this time when I ended up in hospital after kissing a girl I was lucky I wasn't killed

What happened was after kissing my ex for the first time during the bells (new years eve for non scots) I tripped over something and ended up first first through the glass door in my house.

What a start to the new year that was I can tell you that

See? SEE? This is why I stopped kissin' 'em and other stuff! Girls and vaginas are dangerous!

welcome to my world of pain it never ends well for me it really doesn't

Just find yourself a nice guy, Dave. You don't have time for dangerous activity when you're on your knees!

I once "took turns". I'll leave the rest to your imaginations.

knowing my luck i'll....nah thats too grim for me to say....

Joshua wrote:I once "took turns". I'll leave the rest to your imaginations.

Smoking pot has ruined my imagination. Paint a picture.

superdoug wrote:

Joshua wrote:I once "took turns". I'll leave the rest to your imaginations.

Smoking pot has ruined my imagination. Paint a picture.

The clues have been laid out. Solve the mystery.

How old are you in that picture? Fourteen?


And, for the record, 'swapping off' with your roommate isn't something to confess -- it's just good manners!

19.

Esbat wrote:
On the way back home one of the punk ass kids that hurt me was crying because he didn't earn any medals. So the other two kids demanded I give him my gold medal so he could lie to his parents that he won one. I told them to "Fuck Off" so loud I earned a week of after school detention... and that was the first time I ever used a curse word.

Best part of the story.

I'm not sure what it is, but I've got this unshakeable feeling like I'm supposed to suck Krpy's cock.

Joshua wrote:I'm not sure what it is, but I've got this unshakeable feeling like I'm supposed to suck Krpy's cock.

WTF!!

Yay penor =3