Protagonists who are kind of assholes

The Bandit from Smokey and the Bandit.

1. He is breaking the law and is realistically endangering the lives of others.

2. He's arrogant to the point he'd nearly beat up some kid who didn't know who he was.

3. He helped with several police officers getting mashed and bashed.

4. Would have let a pregnant elephant die if not for his friends

5. Has destroyed people's property.

6. Has a tendancy to treat his best friend like crap or rope him in to doing something he does not want.

7. Illegally transporting beer.

M*A*S*H*, the original movie. The original Hawkeye and Trapper John were actually pretty cruel to Hot Lips.

1) They brought out a lot of people in the camp while Hot Lips was taking a shower and broke down the walls of the shower, leaving her naked in the middle of the camp with a hundred guys laughing at her.

2) They called her names like "whore" and at one point Trapper John drunkedly demanded that her clothes be removed (they weren't).

3) Recorded her and her Frank having sex and played it on loud speakers throughout the camp.

4) The novel version had this but I can't remember if the movie said it but Trapper John got his name from apparently trapping his girlfriend in a train bathroom in order to have sex with her.

Superman Returns' Supes.

This was a sequel to Superman 2...

1) After telling the President that he would not leave again, Superman leaves again. For 5 years. Just to check and see if Krypton might still be there, after it has been established by his crazy Krypto-tech: no the place is fucking dead. Superman also doesn't have the courtesy to at least tell people where he is going, so that everyone has to assume that he's either dead or just stopped giving a shit. His leaving for Krypton must've been IMMEDIATELY following Superman 2... and immediately after he banged Lois pregnant. Because he leaves for 5 years, and when he returns, she has a kid is just reaching the age of 5. Jesus Christ Supes, what was the fucking hurry?

2a) Lois is of course mind-wiped from Superman 2, so in her head, this whole pregnancy must seem a bit strange. I mean, one day, she just becomes pregnant without having had sex with anyone recently. I'm surprised that she didn't actually turn this into a news story, but the bottom line is that she then IMMEDIATELY SHACKS UP with Perry's nephew... to the point that Perry's nephew believes he is the father. Well, for the nephew to believe this, they must have been having sex pretty quickly. So right after Superman (the alleged love of her life) goes missing for maybe a few weeks... Lois starts banging some dude to cover up that she is having an immaculate conception? And then she lets said dude believe he is the kid's father for FIVE FUCKING YEARS. Hell, scratch that. We don't know how long this charade will last because she never tells White at the end of the movie and there will never be a sequel.

2b) Alternatively, Lois does think that Richard White is the true father because she starts banging him almost exactly 5 years ago. Which means that Superman could not have been gone for more than a few weeks before she started bang-White-fest. Since no one knew where Superman was, that seems a bit hasty on her part considering how much the previous movies showed her being all wrapped up and smitten with Supes. So if this scenario is true, she's pretty much an asshole for just saying, "Ah well, guess I'll fuck some other dude until Supes gets back."

3) In either case, Lois doesn't know the kid came from Superman until the end of the movie. Superman also now knows that it is his kid. So does he come out and tell the love of his life his true identity and take up assistance with parenting? No. Instead he watches the kid sleep at night, and when he talks to Lois afterwards, he calls her "Ms. Lane" and flies away.

Now imagine you knocked up some girl called Rachel Tillerman 5 years ago. After learning this, all you do is smile, say "Good evening, Ms. Tillerman", and drive off in your car. You would be an extreme asshole.

Superman was an extreme asshole.

And better yet, Lois probably still won't tell White that he isn't the father. Lois is an extreme asshole.

And Brian Singer made this movie! Brian Singer is an asshole.

When I got in from work the other night, I taped Revenge of the Nerds and the Tri-Lambs are kind of assholes. that robot chicken sketch wasn't far off

Sure, they got picked on a little, but damn when you think about it they did some pretty shitty things



1: Putting the cameras in the girl's sorority house and watching them shower and sleep and shit.

2: Selling those pies at the Greek games with Betty's nude picture on the pie plate.

3: cheating in all the Greek events that required actual physical skill.

4: Lewis has sex with Betty when she thinks its her boyfriend.

Debaser77 wrote:Steve Martin's character in Pennies From Heaven was a major-league asshole, as was Billy Bob Thornton in Bad Santa.

azrael07 wrote:
well yeah, Billy Bob was an asshole in Bad Santa, that was the whole point of the movie.

Denim wrote:Jedis, they are the douchebags of the universe

azrael07 wrote:i wouldn't say Jedies are douchebags so much as just plain stupid. And if anyone wants to dispute that, i would like to point out something from Ep.3. During the very beginning when they are saving Palpatine from Tyrannus-Anakin has Tyrannus on his knees, and is about to kill him. And Palpatine says in that hideously evil voice "DO IT", and not Anakin or Obi-Wan think that it isn't the least bit strange. Who doesn't suspect something's up after hearing someone encouraging someone else to kill somebody, in a voice like that? And why was Obi-Wan okay with killing Tyrannus in the first place? Shouldn't he have encouraged Anakin to take him into custody or something?

BlueMaxx wrote:Um...Han Solo. May not have the same excuse as above, but he's awesome and respectable like above.

Captain Painway wrote:
Ever since this thread started I thought of Han Solo, but my love for Han wouldn't allow me to acknowledge it publicly.

azrael07 wrote:i wouldn't say Jedies are douchebags so much as just plain stupid. And if anyone wants to dispute that, i would like to point out something from Ep.3. During the very beginning when they are saving Palpatine from Tyrannus-Anakin has Tyrannus on his knees, and is about to kill him. And Palpatine says in that hideously evil voice "DO IT", and not Anakin or Obi-Wan think that it isn't the least bit strange. Who doesn't suspect something's up after hearing someone encouraging someone else to kill somebody, in a voice like that? And why was Obi-Wan okay with killing Tyrannus in the first place? Shouldn't he have encouraged Anakin to take him into custody or something?