One day, I will open my own restaurant...

And it's going to be the most extreme fucking restaurant ever.

You'll kill your own dinner. You order a steak? You pick a cow, and we give you a set of brass knuckles and throw you in the pen.

Also, for breakfast we'll have the breakFIST special, wherein a large, angry man comes out of the kitchen with an omelet wrapped around his fist and he pounds the shit out of your face until it's gone.

The lunch special, the knuckle sandwich, is essentially the same concept, but with a sandwich instead of an omelet.

I'd hate to here whats involved with the Smoking section.

At all costs, avoid the rump roast.

Forget about the BLT...bacon, lettuce and tough shit!!

<grin>
I'm gonna apply for a job in the kitchen staff!

Order the Ceaser salad and you'll get stabbed by everyone of the waitresses/waiters.

Get the Ground Chuck and Chuck Norris will come out and grind in your face with his boot heel.

FroZen wrote:Order the Ceaser salad and you'll get stabbed by everyone of the waitresses/waiters.

Ah, the "Ides of March" special.

And one day I shall have my own 2000ad based column on this very site.

It starts in the space year never

Forget about reservations....if you call for one they reserve the right to smash in your face when you show up!!

what is chuck norris suddenly running it?

"most extreme fucking restaurant" is what Gandicles said so....getting your face rearranged for making a reservation made sense to me.

Are you having a hard time securing capital?

FroZen wrote:"most extreme fucking restaurant" is what Gandicles said so....getting your face rearranged for making a reservation made sense to me.

Me too. And, marketing this project will be a ton of fun!!!

"Best meals in your mouth AND your anus!"

George Carlin would've been the first investor. GRHS.

FroZen wrote:Forget about the BLT...bacon, lettuce and tough shit!!

No, the BLT is replaced with the BLP. Bacon, Lettuce, and Pain.

FroZen wrote:Get the Ground Chuck and Chuck Norris will come out and grind in your face with his boot heel.

Once again, I say thee nay.

We go literal with this shit. We throw your steak on the ground, and remember that large, angry man from the breakFIST special? He curbstomps your pansy-ass face into the beef.

FroZen wrote:George Carlin would've been the first investor. JPRHS.

Fixed.

I'd go. This'd be a good way for fatties to thin out.

This sparked a thought of a waitress at a Waffle House who had a customer throw a waffle at her because she had a problem with the food. The waitress went to her car, got a gun and shot the lady in the arm she through the waffle with.

"At Black Angus, your name is PEACHES!"

A theme restaurant would be kinda cool. Like I'd open up a superhero one called metropolis. Or something cool..like a 80's video game themed diner called 8-bit Brunch

The meals come with a free safety word

One day, I will open a restaurant and when it's at max capacity I'll poison everyone including the staff. It'll be the worlds first mass-homicide in a restaurant by poisoning.
I'll be infamous.

Welcome to "Infamous Ben's BBQ" where the BBQ's so spicey..it'll kill you.

FroZen wrote:One day, I will open a restaurant and when it's at max capacity I'll poison everyone including the staff. It'll be the worlds first mass-homicide in a restaurant by poisoning.
I'll be infamous.

Welcome to "Infamous Ben's BBQ" where the BBQ's so spicey..it'll kill you.

^ THAT would make an awesome 8-panel comic!

Reminds me of the Grouch Diner from 'Follow that Bird'.

Silent K wrote:Reminds me of the Grouch Diner from 'Follow that Bird'.

Wow it has literally been DECADES since I've seen that.

THAT would make an awesome 8-panel comic!

yes it would.....