Ask a Straight Guy

Hey, Mnemosis. Can I have sex with a guy and be straight if I play it off as if I was trying to be funny and was in a really happy mood?

BlueMaxx wrote:Hey, Mnemosis. Can I have sex with a guy and be straight if I play it off as if I was trying to be funny and was in a really happy mood?

No, but you can go fuck yourself and it won't count against you.

Mnemosis wrote:
No, but you can go fuck yourself and it won't count against you.

Whoa! You know likey joke?

I've kissed my best friend on the mouth two times. And I'm so not gay. (unless he is. Why did he say he is? Could it finally happen?)

BlueMaxx wrote:

Mnemosis wrote:
No, but you can go fuck yourself and it won't count against you.

Whoa! You know likey joke?

Dude... just bustin' balls. Smiley immunity!

Thundermatts wrote:I've kissed my best friend on the mouth two times. And I'm so not gay. (unless he is. Why did he say he is? Could it finally happen?)

No, he didn't. But yes, it could.

Mnemosis...where do vaginas and penises come from?

[insert joke] Pun intended.

Ok...totally hypothetical here...but say you're banging your girlfriend from behind. And you insist she doesn't turn around...and you make her moan in a deep voice...and you keep calling her...oh I don't know...lets say "Jason".
Does that make your girlfriend gay?
just hypothetically speaking of course.

FroZen wrote:Ok...totally hypothetical here...but say you're banging your girlfriend from behind. And you insist she doesn't turn around...and you make her moan in a deep voice...and you keep calling her...oh I don't know...lets say "Jason".
Does that make your girlfriend gay?
just hypothetically speaking of course.

No, but it's a good sign your gerbil may be trans.

Dear "Big Sur,

Love you long time reader, first time caller. Is a dirty sanchez what I think it is?

Signed,

Confused in Coitus

Esbat wrote:Dear "Big Sur,

Love you long time reader, first time caller. Is a dirty sanchez what I think it is?

Signed,

Confused in Coitus

Yes. Tell your cousin to bathe more often.

So a couple other guys have ask threads on here, but this one is for all things love related! Relationships, sex you name it, I'll help you with it. Honestly, ask away, I think you'll be surprised that I might just end up helping you nab that lady of your dreams. I kind of rock at relationship advice. People who actually know me ask me all the time. I'm sort of a super sexy love doctor. But I give it straight, so if you're a creepy stalker, I'll let you know.

I have some trouble talking to this girl I work with I have tried to actually ask her out on a date and I end up pussying out at the last minute

well, stop it. The key to talking to any girl is confidence. They can smell a loser coming a mile away because he thinks he's a loser. Now you have to walk a fine line. Don't be overconfident, while some chicks go for that kind of guy, they all find themselves posted on the internet in one of gemwolfs (airwolf?) pictures, and you don't want a girl like that anyways. But just know that you're interesting, and you have something to offer in a discussion, on a date or in a relationship, cause you do!

thank you

Your welcome. let me know how it goes!

Yes, Dr. Love? I was wondering just how it is you ever got laid.


Smiley immunity!

Confidence!

something I need a shitload of

$ is just as good.

What's the best way to get your dick wet without all that "getting to know you" bullshit?

Rape.

Just kidding! Seriously though, you already know a girl who will fuck you no strings attached. You just don't know it yet. Co workers is always good, as are friends who aren't like in the friend friend circle. I'm sure there's one girl at least that you flirt with all the time, and who flirts back. In my experiences, that usually means she's willing to blow you at the least. Know anyone like that? Theres your answer. If not, I know it's lame, but hit up bars.

Thundermatts wrote:Just kidding! Seriously though, you already know a girl who will fuck you no strings attached. You just don't know it yet. Co workers is always good, as are friends who aren't like in the friend friend circle. I'm sure there's one girl at least that you flirt with all the time, and who flirts back. In my experiences, that usually means she's willing to blow you at the least. Know anyone like that? Theres your answer. If not, I know it's lame, but hit up bars.

Most of the ladies I know are taken or out of range. As for co-workers, that's a dead end, unless I want to fuck my Mom or Kerouac. The roommate brings home friends from work all the time, and those are usually the best possibilities, and I was kinda making time with one, recently, but not sure if she's feeling it. We talked for a good long time, and I was on my A game, but alas, it ended with what doctors would refer to as "dryness of the dick".

At this point in my life, I'm just really fucking lazy in regards to women. I don't really have the time or energy to put into a girlfriend, and I'm not gonna go out of my way to find some chick to bang, either. But if they happen to show up on my doorstep, I'm all for it. If I don't get my rocks off for another few years until I have a legit relationship...then so be it...I went 24 years without it, prior. I'd just like some lovely young lady to treat me like a piece of meat for a night, and vice versa.

So go to the bar. It's not work, you get to drink.

Silent K wrote:
At this point in my life, I'm just really fucking lazy in regards to women. I don't really have the time or energy to put into a girlfriend, and I'm not gonna go out of my way to find some chick to bang, either. But if they happen to show up on my doorstep, I'm all for it. If I don't get my rocks off for another few years until I have a legit relationship...then so be it...I went 24 years without it, prior. I'd just like some lovely young lady to treat me like a piece of meat for a night, and vice versa.

So you want to eat her and eleven of her friends and then miss the end of GI Joe to say goodbye to them?